Being Indifferent - Tell us about who you are. UBC

Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of.

I am proud of being different

Growing up, I always hated taking the bus, not because it was extremely crowded and uncomfortable, but because there, I was some sort of bright extraterrestrial that attracted everyone's attention.

As an Asian Latin American being "different" was part of my daily basis, luckily enough I was always taught to be whoever I wanted to be independently of my background, and so I did.

I am often described as a smart and curious girl that likes to know about every topic from science to literature and history. Sometimes a hardheaded mind that despite being quite tolerant still likes to win every discussion. A girl that works hard on her goals no matter how impossible they seem to be.

Among my friends and family, I am known as the one with the strong personality and soft heart, a nonstop talker that cries from every movie she sees and is definitely a living meme. My teachers think of me as a responsible student who enjoys participating in class and knows how to successfully approach every task she is given.

For me, I am a person that is proud of her little accomplishment - from the simple fact of graduating High School and the IB Diploma without having much support, to the friends I made although being a reserved person.

I will probably always be a phenomenon on the bus, however, I am proud of being different, Chinese and Venezuelan, insecure of many things and still a confident, loud, cheerful and independent teenager.

First of all I would just like to say that I'm literally working on this question for my own UBC personal profile . So, I may not be the best person to give you feedback.

That being said I overall really like your answer, it gives me an idea of who you are. I like how you begin your first sentence, it really drew me in and made me keep reading the rest.

The one thing that bothers me is the line "Sometimes a hardheaded mind that despite being quite tolerant still likes to win every discussion." I like the idea of it but I don't like the way it is formatted, it feels to wordy, then the next line doesn't flow nicely with the previous sentence.

I hope that I was helpful

Also,
I just notice I think it should be and an independent teenager.

Michell, since this is supposed to be a truthful and accurate written interview, you must be honest in your depiction of yourself. Do not hold anything back that might be important in building your paper image with the reviewer. That means, you must keep the part about being hard-headed at times because that helps to create a truly representative description of who you are. Remember, the reviewer is assessing your qualities as a person at this stage. So far, from the point of view of a reviewer or adcom officer, I do not see anything wrong with that statement because it ties in directly with your independent thinking and personality. If I would advise you to do some editing in this essay, it will be to combine your last 2 paragraphs into one. I would however, edit the presentation of the part about your graduating with the looks you get on the bus through a transition, but connecting sentence in the middle. The two descriptions, in my point of view go hand in hand and should not be separated from each other in order to create the strongest possible closing statement for your essay.

@Holt
@Warisha
Thank you so much for your feedback!