Prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of you activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer)
Please be harsh, and tell me what you think.
Thank You in advance.
Infinities of Chess
Checkmate! As a thinker, I have always enjoyed games (chess, checkers, puzzles, riddles, and math problems) that exercises the infinite possibilities of mind. Chess is among the bests, it not only challenges one's brain but also built sportsmanship and friendship. Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces that create phenomenon, and has its own universals laws called the rules of game. It's also a war on the board but can be thought as art, science and sport. Every game played teaches a lesson. The key to success is not only intelligence but also through persistence. Each mistake made will be a stepping stone to success. Even though it's a game, I do take it seriously. Chess is the game of mind and soul, enhances problem solving that we can use in real life every day. It's a war creates harmony and FUN!
this is pretty good...however...you added a title to this?
Infinities of Chess? Does that not look like a title? or is it not creative? and can you check my grammar please.
also any other suggestion?
Thank you.
the infinities is more overdone than you might think, i know when i first came up with it in one of my essays, i thought it was really unique, but its not, lots of people use it, almost to hte point of cliche. That said, I don't think you necessairly have to remove it, alot of people use it in the wrong purposes which hurts it but I think your context is fine. This is a solid essay the more I read through it, i just think you could use a little more captivating conclusion, but more importantly, tie yourself more into this essay, thats probably the biggest piece of advice i can give you, ad coms have probably heard lots of interpretations of chess before, but as for how chess affects you, thats something only you can provide them. Still, this def. is not a bad essay by any stretch, if you get a chance you could you take a look at my post and tell me which of my essays you like best? thanks alot
no i mean...why did you have a title to a 150 word answer? It only takes away possible space...however, I see nothing wrong with having a title...I was merely wondering.
oh, I guess I got confused by other essays lol.
and anyway do you need to have titles for all the main essays?
I changed the essay a bit.
Checkmate! As a thinker, I have always enjoyed games ( chess, checkers, puzzles, and riddles) that exercises the infinite possibilities of mind. Chess is among the bests, it not only challenges one's mind but also builds sportsmanship and friendship. Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces called blacks and whites, battle for the titles of good and evil. But which side is which? Or is it universe of phenomenon with laws called the rules of game. Nevertheless every game played teaches a lesson. The key to success is not only intelligence but also persistence. Each mistake made will be a stepping stone to success. Even though it's a game, I do take it seriously. But perhaps all these are wrong? Is chess merely a game for fun? But I'm too ignorance to find out, since it matters not because chess is a part of my soul.
Infinities of Chess
Checkmate! (I would save this maybe for the end)
As a thinker, I have always enjoyed games (chess, checkers, puzzles, riddles, and math problems) that exercises the infinite possibilities of mind.
(I don't think you need to list all these, it just takes up too much space. Focus on chess.)
As a thinker, I've always enjoyed games with the potential to exercise the infinite possibilities of the mind.
Chess is among the bests, it not only challenges one's brain but also built sportsmanship and friendship.
{Yet, chess is among the best. Not only does it challenge the brain, but also builds sportsmanship and friendship.}
Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces that create phenomenon, and has its own universals laws called the rules of game.
{I would look at this again, it's a bit repetitive. Perhaps it is a universe of its own and its own universal laws called the rules of the game are pretty much saying the same thing. What distinguishes chess from other games? Explain this universe a bit more... does it have a history? Is the board the universe you're talking about? Is this universe infinite? Because from an initial perspective, one might think it has boundaries as there are only so many spaces in which the pieces can move. How about the pieces themselves? They exist within this space yet each one has its own distinct character, each is limited in a different way, not all pieces are equal... Who made these rules? Where did Chess come from? Does it owe its existence to randomness or design? Is it constant or in a state of flux? How about the players who play within this unique universe? What does it say about them? Does Chess have a future?
It's also a war on the board but can be thought as art, science and sport. Every game played teaches a lesson.
{Chess is art, it is science and sport, yet, it is also in many ways a microcosm of war. Every time the game is played, a lesson can be learned.}
{The key to success lies not only in intelligence but also persistence. Each mistake made serves as a stepping stone towards future success.Chess is a game of mind and soul to many, but to me, it has a mind and soul of its own.}
Is it really like war as we know it in reality? How might war and chess differ? In what ways are they similar? And is war fun? Does war create harmony?
Just some suggestions. Chess is a popular topic for college essays but everyone has a different take on it. I think chess has a personal feel to it that many other games do not. Many different people play it and for different reasons. It is a great game, but it is not war.
I like it.
this is better, i like the concluding statement, you can't really tie yourself that much in a 150 word essay, but this is good. IF you could, I would love it if you took a look at my Duke supplemental. Also, dont worry that much about word count, there are great essays that are 200 words, and there are horrible ones that are 1000 words, I even read a book with an essay that was 73 words and that kid was accepted into yale. if you are in the 250-600 word range you should be fine. Ad coms have to more through applications so don't put more than you need, your 750 is prob a bit too much.
Chess is among the best , it not only because it challenges one's brain but also because it builds sportsmanship and friendship.
Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces that represent phenomenon, and perhaps it has its own universals laws called the "rules of game." ---> awesome sentence!!!!
It's also a war on the board, but it can also be thought of as art, science and sport. Every game played teaches a lesson.
Excellent!!! It is a great choice, and you did very well writing it!!!
EF_Kevin
thank you very much.
As a thinker, I've always enjoyed games with the potential to exercise the infinite possibilities of the mind. Yet, chess is among the best. Not only does it challenge the brain, but also builds sportsmanship and friendship. Perhaps it's a universe of its own, with pieces called blacks and whites, battle for the titles of good and evil. But which side is which? Or is it a universe of phenomenon with laws called the rules of game. Nevertheless every game played teaches a lesson. The key to success lies not only in intelligence but also in persistence. Each mistake made serves as a stepping stone toward future success. Even though it's a game, I do take it seriously. But perhaps I'm wrong? Is chess merely a game for fun? Though it matters not, because chess is a part of my soul that I can't live without. Checkmate!
please tell me what you think, and if you see any errors tell me. Thank you.