Hey,
I was hoping someone could help me out with my PU Supplement essay. I like it, but wanted to hear someone's feedback on it.
Prompt: Write about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
PLS be completely honest, anything is appreciated! (also it's a little long, so I would also appreciate any ideas on how to cut it down!)
"Let's be realistic (Name): you're five feet tall, barely weigh 100 pounds, and don't come from an athletic background...you can't do it. No way. Don't waste your time with basketball." Friends, family, and even coaches said the same thing: basketball would be a waste of my time.
I've been playing for eight years now, and that couldn't be further from the truth.
Despite constantly being told I couldn't do it, a voice inside me has transcended it all. It's a voice that tells me winners aren't the only ones to make a difference, sometimes it's the people who touch the hearts of others by the way they carry themselves. This voice doesn't come from the biggest, toughest, or smartest guy; it comes from a guy who is so dedicated, hard-working, and diligent that he motivates the people around him to be the same. It's a voice filled with confidence and genuine emotion. The voice comes from a little body with a huge heart: the body of "The Answer," or Allen Ezail Iverson.
Many people look back and choose to remember Iverson's trouble with the law. They remember his thug-like image: cornrows for hair, tattoos, an arm sleeve, and hip-hop style clothing off the court. They say he can never be considered great; he didn't win a single championship.
That's not what I remember. I remember a kid surviving through hell: growing up in poverty, seeing close friends die, and going to jail. I remember a player who showed integrity, staying true to himself and bringing his unique image and "in-your-face" gameplay to the NBA. I say there is no question about his greatness. Drafted as the number one pick in 1996, over Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, and other greats, Iverson has led the NBA in scoring four times, earned the sixth highest career scoring average, led the league in steals for the greatest number of seasons, and won an MVP award.
Iverson spoke to me, not because of his accolades, but rather his undeniable passion for the game. Standing barely six feet tall, Iverson competed in a game of giants on a daily basis, some nights for more than 48 minutes. Putting his heart and soul into basketball, he played every game like it was his last: running after every loose ball, taking hits from the bigger guys, and the driving to basket with such determination that the strongest centers of his day couldn't stop him.
Picking up basketball in 4th grade, I have always aspired to play the game just as Iverson did: fearless, tireless, and determined. His voice has carried me through the years, instilling in me an unwavering dedication to basketball that has served me both on and off the court.
I have learned discipline from little things like wearing team uniforms to show pride and unity, to bigger things like waking up early for grueling weekend practices. Playing as point guard, has taught me both leadership and teamwork. I not only guide the team: calling plays and controlling the tempo of the game, but also collaborate with my teammates, boosting their morale and putting them in positions to score. With all this, comes an emphasis on communication: I learn to interact effectively with players, coaches, and even the crowd in the thick of a game. Perhaps most importantly, I learn to accept defeat in life, adopting the philosophy that success continues to be defined as getting up just one more time than the number of times you have fallen.
Allen Iverson taught me Basketball. Basketball taught me life
I was hoping someone could help me out with my PU Supplement essay. I like it, but wanted to hear someone's feedback on it.
Prompt: Write about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
PLS be completely honest, anything is appreciated! (also it's a little long, so I would also appreciate any ideas on how to cut it down!)
"Let's be realistic (Name): you're five feet tall, barely weigh 100 pounds, and don't come from an athletic background...you can't do it. No way. Don't waste your time with basketball." Friends, family, and even coaches said the same thing: basketball would be a waste of my time.
I've been playing for eight years now, and that couldn't be further from the truth.
Despite constantly being told I couldn't do it, a voice inside me has transcended it all. It's a voice that tells me winners aren't the only ones to make a difference, sometimes it's the people who touch the hearts of others by the way they carry themselves. This voice doesn't come from the biggest, toughest, or smartest guy; it comes from a guy who is so dedicated, hard-working, and diligent that he motivates the people around him to be the same. It's a voice filled with confidence and genuine emotion. The voice comes from a little body with a huge heart: the body of "The Answer," or Allen Ezail Iverson.
Many people look back and choose to remember Iverson's trouble with the law. They remember his thug-like image: cornrows for hair, tattoos, an arm sleeve, and hip-hop style clothing off the court. They say he can never be considered great; he didn't win a single championship.
That's not what I remember. I remember a kid surviving through hell: growing up in poverty, seeing close friends die, and going to jail. I remember a player who showed integrity, staying true to himself and bringing his unique image and "in-your-face" gameplay to the NBA. I say there is no question about his greatness. Drafted as the number one pick in 1996, over Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, and other greats, Iverson has led the NBA in scoring four times, earned the sixth highest career scoring average, led the league in steals for the greatest number of seasons, and won an MVP award.
Iverson spoke to me, not because of his accolades, but rather his undeniable passion for the game. Standing barely six feet tall, Iverson competed in a game of giants on a daily basis, some nights for more than 48 minutes. Putting his heart and soul into basketball, he played every game like it was his last: running after every loose ball, taking hits from the bigger guys, and the driving to basket with such determination that the strongest centers of his day couldn't stop him.
Picking up basketball in 4th grade, I have always aspired to play the game just as Iverson did: fearless, tireless, and determined. His voice has carried me through the years, instilling in me an unwavering dedication to basketball that has served me both on and off the court.
I have learned discipline from little things like wearing team uniforms to show pride and unity, to bigger things like waking up early for grueling weekend practices. Playing as point guard, has taught me both leadership and teamwork. I not only guide the team: calling plays and controlling the tempo of the game, but also collaborate with my teammates, boosting their morale and putting them in positions to score. With all this, comes an emphasis on communication: I learn to interact effectively with players, coaches, and even the crowd in the thick of a game. Perhaps most importantly, I learn to accept defeat in life, adopting the philosophy that success continues to be defined as getting up just one more time than the number of times you have fallen.
Allen Iverson taught me Basketball. Basketball taught me life
