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Intense academics,Intellectual vibe and Blow-your-mind school spirit; U Michigan!



hawraasabra 1 / 1  
Jan 24, 2013   #1
I need some help editing this essay...

Prompt: Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

The University of Michigan is surely one of the most prestigious universities in the United Sates and the world! It has been ranked among the top universities and is known for its intense academics, intellectual vibe and blow-your-mind school spirit. I am applying to the College of Literature, Science and the Arts and planning to major in Biology as a preparation for Medical School.

There are many unique qualities that the College of Literature, Science and the Arts posses. One of the most attractive qualities, I would say, is the extremely wide variety of majors and minors. There is something for just about anyone at this college. Not only are students being offered a wide variety of majors and minors, but also very unique and rare majors and minors that most universities do not even offer. Knowing this, I believe that if admitted to this university I will be offered a wide range of courses which will let me explore and expand my knowledge allowing me to gradate as a better-rounded individual.

I also believe that it is this particular range of majors and minors that attracts the diverse population the university is known for. Especially with the Asian, African, and Middle Eastern studies being offered, I know I will be exposed to great variety of cultures and diverse intellectuals. I love getting to know people and especially people with different religions and cultures because I know I can really learn and benefit from them. At the University of Michigan Ann Arbor, I know I will get a chance to meet these people no matter what my own major is.

Biology has always been one of the few subjects that could really capture my attention. Having the opportunity to learn about the organization and intricate functions of the human body initially sparked my interest in this particular field of science. My fascination with the human body has withstood the test of time and maintained its place in my life. I want, more than anything, to become physician in order to benefit the people around me in the future. I do not get a lot of encouragement from my family or many physicians I have met to pursue this type of career. However, I know that I have my mind set one it, and if I have the determination and passions to do it, there is nothing that can stop me.

Although I have only been able to have a brief look around the university in the summer, the comments I have heard about the academics of the University of Michigan from its students have been nothing short of spectacular. Attending the College of Literature, Science and the Arts at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor is going to really give me the push I need in order to fulfill a career as a doctor. At the University of Michigan Ann Arbor I think any student will be able to unleash their full potential to become the best that they can be.

Tess962 2 / 10  
Jan 24, 2013   #2
many unique qualities

One of the most attractive qualities,

Here you should avoid using the same word twice, couse It sounds repetitive

I know I can really learn

...

know I will get a chance

...

I know I will be exposed

Same here!

However, I know that I have my mind set one it, and if I have the determination and passions to do it, there is nothing that can stop me

I would try reformulating this sentence putting " I heve the determination and passion" instead of "if I have the determination and passion".

Hope this can help you!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 24, 2013   #3
It has been ranked among the world top universities

.... since there are so many ranking criteria, it is better to specify. It shows that you have gathered information about the uni because you are very much interested in it.

to major in Biology as a preparation for Medical School.

... to major in Biology in preparation for Medical School.

I would say, is the extremely wide variety of majors and minors.

I would say, is the range of assortment of majors and minors.


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