Hi, I need some help in cutting this essay down to 2000 characters and structuring it better. I also need help in making my writing more concise. This is for a scholarship application to NUS. Please refer to our private services with these specific instructions, thank you! EF
Prompt
You should also include a personal statement in this section elaborating your achievements, as well as their relevance to the course of study you have chosen. As your statement is limited to only 2000 characters, do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.
I have always been enthralled by the fields of Biology and Chemistry. I first realised how I could teach others about biological processes when I created a clay model of the coronary artery and demonstrated coronary thrombosis in our school science exhibition. My study of Biology and biological weapons in the Vietnam War has made me realise the importance of Life Sciences. I want to go into Biochemical and Molecular research and I seek to explore the applications of science in daily life outside the confines of laboratory work.
I achieved 9 A*s in my Cambridge IGCSEs, topping the school with an ICE Certificate of Distinction, and it came with much effort. I believe that my long days of hard work have equipped me to join NUS and embrace the challenges that I might face there. With my university studies, I aim to expand my knowledge and share my passion for my work with others around me.
I also have a passion for languages and can speak Bengali, Hindi, and Malayalam. I pursued French and scored 97% for my DELF A1. I have participated in international and national Olympiads by the SilverZone Foundation and the Science Olympiad Foundation where I secured state ranks, including first in the state in the International French Olympiad for two consecutive years. When I'm not studying, I like to play my violin, an instrument I have been learning for a decade.
I volunteered at the Alex Agape Foundation where I looked after blind, autistic and physically challenged children, witnessing their struggles first-hand. My interactions with them have motivated me to pursue scientific research to help make the world a better place for individuals like them. I further proved my zeal in this field when I represented my school and Singapore in the HMUN India 2017 session. I chose the Social, Humanitarian and Cultural Committee because I had a deep desire to learn more about solutions to real-world problems. I interacted with people from different countries and discussed plausible solutions to the human trafficking crisis. This furthered my desire to help people through extensive research and work.
I want to pursue Life Sciences at NUS so that I can pursue a career that delves into the depths of scientific research and challenges my problem-solving capabilities. I want to meet people with whom I can share my passion for science and work on new research projects to create beneficial programmes for mankind. An education at NUS would thus help me actively engage with a diverse student body where I can expand my experience with different cultures and backgrounds. I believe that NUS will help my dreams see their full potential.
Prompt
You should also include a personal statement in this section elaborating your achievements, as well as their relevance to the course of study you have chosen. As your statement is limited to only 2000 characters, do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.
MY INTEREST IN LIFE SCIENCES
I have always been enthralled by the fields of Biology and Chemistry. I first realised how I could teach others about biological processes when I created a clay model of the coronary artery and demonstrated coronary thrombosis in our school science exhibition. My study of Biology and biological weapons in the Vietnam War has made me realise the importance of Life Sciences. I want to go into Biochemical and Molecular research and I seek to explore the applications of science in daily life outside the confines of laboratory work.
I achieved 9 A*s in my Cambridge IGCSEs, topping the school with an ICE Certificate of Distinction, and it came with much effort. I believe that my long days of hard work have equipped me to join NUS and embrace the challenges that I might face there. With my university studies, I aim to expand my knowledge and share my passion for my work with others around me.
I also have a passion for languages and can speak Bengali, Hindi, and Malayalam. I pursued French and scored 97% for my DELF A1. I have participated in international and national Olympiads by the SilverZone Foundation and the Science Olympiad Foundation where I secured state ranks, including first in the state in the International French Olympiad for two consecutive years. When I'm not studying, I like to play my violin, an instrument I have been learning for a decade.
I volunteered at the Alex Agape Foundation where I looked after blind, autistic and physically challenged children, witnessing their struggles first-hand. My interactions with them have motivated me to pursue scientific research to help make the world a better place for individuals like them. I further proved my zeal in this field when I represented my school and Singapore in the HMUN India 2017 session. I chose the Social, Humanitarian and Cultural Committee because I had a deep desire to learn more about solutions to real-world problems. I interacted with people from different countries and discussed plausible solutions to the human trafficking crisis. This furthered my desire to help people through extensive research and work.
I want to pursue Life Sciences at NUS so that I can pursue a career that delves into the depths of scientific research and challenges my problem-solving capabilities. I want to meet people with whom I can share my passion for science and work on new research projects to create beneficial programmes for mankind. An education at NUS would thus help me actively engage with a diverse student body where I can expand my experience with different cultures and backgrounds. I believe that NUS will help my dreams see their full potential.
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