'interest in pursuing a Business' - Ithaca Supplement.

Hi guys I have just finished my ithaca supplement essay.Any feedbacks and corrections would be nice.
Thanks!
Why did you select this specific academic program?

My interest in pursuing a Business degree dates back to the summer of 2008, when I worked in my parents' clothes shop as a shopping assistant for my mother. This opportunity gave me first-hand experience with real life. I had to use my communication skills to persuade clients to buy certain types of cloth and also guarantee their quality. As a result of my work experience, I got very interested in the field of business. I started reading various financial magazines and newspaper such as the Financial Times, Forbes, etc. I enjoy finding out how various aspects of businesses link together in an organization. In order to have success in business I believe I need to have more than just an academic understanding. Rather, creativity, motivation, hard work, excellent social skills, and even carefully managed risks are essential. These qualities make me eager to learn more and strengthen my desire to be professionally involved in a business career.

Another activity that I can associate with my interest in business is basketball. Yes, basketball. During fifth grade, my parents advised me to start playing basketball in order to grow taller (because my height was below average compared to my classmates). So I started playing basketball, and although I did not really grow much, I was passionate about it. With a lot of hard work and determination, I made it on the school team, which I still play for.I started regularly following major basketball leagues like the NBA and the Euro-league. As I watched them, a lot of questions came to my mind. One was 'How did they manage to build that big arena with state of the art facilities?' and another-'How do they manage to pay their players' seven figures salaries?' Therefore, I started researching the teams' budgets, sponsors, owners, and son. Finally, I found the answers to my questions, which made me even more attracted to pursuing a business degree.

Despite knowing what degree to pursue, I still have not decided what kind of job I want to have after graduation. I believe that, with the many business-related majors offered at Ithaca College and with the help of its academic and career advisors, I will have time to decide what I want to do and will be able to implement my knowledge and skills gained at Ithaca College to succeed professionally.

As a result of my work experience, I became very interested in the field of business.

This unique opportunity provided me with first-hand experience and a real world application for my interest in business.

I began to read various financial magazines and newspaper such as Forbes and the Financial Times.

In order to have a sucessful business I believe that I need to have more than just an academic understanding.

(I feel that your essay has a very professional and sophisticated tone and then you begin to sound weaker with the story about basketball. I notice that you tried to lighten the mood of the essay with a bit of humor, but I would stick to the nice tone you begun with throughout the entire essay)

(Maybe I am wrong, if you like to personal touch you add to it then keep it in. But try to read the essay with the revised sentences)

When I entered the fifth grade, my parents advised me to become involved in a sport they were fond of, basketball. As soon as I initiated my participation on the basketball team, I became very passionate for the sport and continue to play for my schools basketball team to this day.

Despite knowing what degree to pursue, I still have not decided what kind of job I want to have after graduation. (I WOULD TAKE THIS OUT!)

I believe that, with the vast array of business-related opportunities offered at Ithaca College, such as internships, and with the support of its countless student associations for business students, I will be able to reach my full potential as an undergraduate student and be able to implement my knowledge and skills gained at Ithaca College to succeed professionally.

I really hope that you like the edits I made and take them into consideration! I wish you luck!

I think this essay is great, but doesn't Ithaca have a 250 character limit? Common App is cutting me off after only 2 sentences!