Please the deadline for this is tomorrow: 12/15/2014. Please critique. Any feedbacks will be appreciated. Thanks in advance for the support.
Statement of Purpose
My undergraduate studies, made possible through a fully-funded scholarship program, provided me with the opportunity to take a variety of science courses and to engage in a research program, both of which reinforced and solidified my passionate career interest in power and energy systems. I am passionate about improving power and energy systems available for people worldwide because I know first-hand the hardships endured by those who do not have access to electricity. As a teenager growing up in a small town in Nigeria, I realize how large an impact electricity makes in daily life, as it was a rare occurrence for us. In Nigeria at that time, power supply was a source of joy, while its absence stole the smiles from the people. The inadequate supply of electricity led to the collapse of the town's economy as most companies could not afford the continuous use of expensive oil to generate goods and services. This deprived most families of a source of livelihood, perpetuating a rise in the societal problems.
I witnessed first-hand how a persistent power outage that lasts several years creates a huge job vacuum and leaves many families with no alternative but to leave for greener pastures. I personally lost ties with close friends and relatives, who were compelled to migrate to different countries during those tough times. Though my family and I stayed and relied on a small plastics retail sales business to provide for the family's needs, the socio-economic issues that arose from the perils of the energy sector compelled me to think deeply about my future and that of the nation. As I increasingly understood the sensitivity and severity of the looming crisis, my desire to become familiar with the constraints facing the depleted power sector was greatly spurred. This, in turn, heightened my passion as a science enthusiast, as I applied scientific methodologies in my endeavor to comprehend the complexities of the power sector.
A major factor that stood out distinctly to me was the growing population. I became aware that in addition to insufficient skilled personnel and to technical limitations, the increasing vulnerability of the power sector was exacerbated by the rising energy demand and consumption. I became convinced of the need to adopt alternative energy sources to mitigate these risks and to properly sustain the growing energy requirements. I continue to feel this way and hope to devote my career to seeing better power and energy systems developed. During my undergraduate studies I also enjoyed learning to design circuits and I strengthened my technical skills through my involvement in the Dillard University's Robotics research program. As part of this research program, I worked on a team that designed and built a functional forklift robot.
As I look forward to obtaining a master's degree before advancing into a PhD program in Energy Systems, I hope to gain a clearer understanding and to solidify my background within the field of Energy Systems to better carve out a specific research niche that aligns with my interest in smart grid systems. While my research interests are focused on the development and integration of renewable technologies and smart grid systems to better optimize energy production and usage, I believe that the masters program in Energy Systems at UT Austin will enable me to become better equipped to further my knowledge in my core area of interest. I look forward to making use of different class materials, projects and research opportunities to develop the skills, knowledge and experience that I need to fulfill my passion. I hope to leverage my computational, mathematical and research background as a foundation for studying and analyzing the complex concepts I will face in advanced studies of power systems.
After completing my undergraduate studies, I opted to take a year off to recuperate from my rigorous college experience and to prepare adequately to handle graduate studies. I am currently working for a consultancy company within the technology and utilities market to gain some perspective and I have also started taking a self-study Power course through OpenCourseware in preparation for my prospective graduate program.
I am most interested in the UX Energy Systems Engineering program within the Electrical and Computer Engineering spectrum, largely because of its state-of-the-art research program in smart grid systems pioneered by its outstanding faculty. During my research for a suitable graduate program, I was amazed to learn about the researches in the areas of intelligent systems development for power grid enhancements and optimization of electric power systems spearheaded by Dr. Sidat and Dr. Kelvin, respectively. In addition to the hands-on opportunities that students are given to engage in smart grid projects, the Power and Systems Engineering program at UX speaks for itself, with its students emerging as winners in competitions. The opportunity to work under a great faculty and in the ideal research climate that UX provides will make my experience both challenging and rewarding.
On completion of advanced studies, my goal is to work as a Power and Energy Consultant in third world countries providing expertise, insight and innovative approaches to some of the challenges faced in the energy sector. Ultimately, I aim to see a more productive and prosperous environment by facilitating the development of this industry in third world countries to better meet their growing energy needs and to facilitate more efficient production and usage of energy.
The essay suffers from a case of too many words. You need to cut down on it by focusing on 4 main aspects always considered in a graduate school statement of purpose.
1. Is your current career relevant to your chosen field of advanced studies? If yes, how is it relevant?
2. What do you hope to accomplish in terms of your career by completing this course?
3. How will this university be able to help you achieve your goals?
4. What kind of work experience (seminar, training, etc.) do you have which is relevant to your chosen masters degree? Include a summary of your relevant college background and internships relevant to the discussion.
Those are the pertinent information that the reviewer will look to learn about you so be sure to provide those in a direct manner . Don't waste time with long flowery paragraphs, these people don't have the time to waste reading overly long but little informative statement of purpose essays.