I just finished writing the rough draft of Bard supplement essay about true joy. Could you give me some advices and comments to the essay? Also could you also look for the grammatical errors that I might have missed? Thank you all.
Prompt: The Roman philosopher Seneca, writing in the first century, wrote a set of letters of advice to a young friend. In the 23rd letter he wrote, "Make this your business: learn how to feel joy...true joy, believe me, is a serious thing." Write a short response to these thoughts, indicating if you wish, the extent to which you may have come to realize that Seneca was right.
Anything that gives us pleasure, whether physical or emotional, can make us smile. Nevertheless, we often do not distinguish the difference between a temporary satisfaction and a true happiness. Over the years, I have learned the true joy does not come from an extra dollar, one fewer pimple or another 100% on my math test. Indeed, all three of these factors can make us happy but only temporarily. I believe that true joy cannot be measured or bought, such as genuine friends, caring family and true love. Finding true joy is crucial to our lives because joy makes us to continue with our lives and to have self-esteem.
For instance, my fellow students at the elementary school in Korea used to bully me because of my chubby figure. I used to wish that I were as skinny as the other girls. At a young age, I felt extremely insecure about how much I ate and ran laps around my apartment complex to lose weight. Going through a hard time made me desperate about finding true joy, which was a genuine friendship. I was fortunate to have a great friend at that time, Hyobin, who always supported me regardless of my image. She protected me from those kids who used to punch me in the face for being fatter than them. We spent time together over the weekends to forget about the bullies. The more our friendship grew, the more I felt that becoming skinny was not the solution to my unhappiness. Because of Hyobin, I could feel more confident about myself and could continue with my life. Although we have lost contacts after I moved to America, I still would like to thank her for making me truly joyful by being my genuine friend.
Thinking about playing tags with Hyobin every weekend during the time when I was bullied still makes me truly joyful, because I could not have replaced our friendship with a temporary, physical happiness. Finding true joy helps us overcome hardships by inputting optimistic thoughts into our minds. Hence, feeling joy is necessary for us and should be the way of our lives.
Prompt: The Roman philosopher Seneca, writing in the first century, wrote a set of letters of advice to a young friend. In the 23rd letter he wrote, "Make this your business: learn how to feel joy...true joy, believe me, is a serious thing." Write a short response to these thoughts, indicating if you wish, the extent to which you may have come to realize that Seneca was right.
Anything that gives us pleasure, whether physical or emotional, can make us smile. Nevertheless, we often do not distinguish the difference between a temporary satisfaction and a true happiness. Over the years, I have learned the true joy does not come from an extra dollar, one fewer pimple or another 100% on my math test. Indeed, all three of these factors can make us happy but only temporarily. I believe that true joy cannot be measured or bought, such as genuine friends, caring family and true love. Finding true joy is crucial to our lives because joy makes us to continue with our lives and to have self-esteem.
For instance, my fellow students at the elementary school in Korea used to bully me because of my chubby figure. I used to wish that I were as skinny as the other girls. At a young age, I felt extremely insecure about how much I ate and ran laps around my apartment complex to lose weight. Going through a hard time made me desperate about finding true joy, which was a genuine friendship. I was fortunate to have a great friend at that time, Hyobin, who always supported me regardless of my image. She protected me from those kids who used to punch me in the face for being fatter than them. We spent time together over the weekends to forget about the bullies. The more our friendship grew, the more I felt that becoming skinny was not the solution to my unhappiness. Because of Hyobin, I could feel more confident about myself and could continue with my life. Although we have lost contacts after I moved to America, I still would like to thank her for making me truly joyful by being my genuine friend.
Thinking about playing tags with Hyobin every weekend during the time when I was bullied still makes me truly joyful, because I could not have replaced our friendship with a temporary, physical happiness. Finding true joy helps us overcome hardships by inputting optimistic thoughts into our minds. Hence, feeling joy is necessary for us and should be the way of our lives.
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