This is my essay for SMU application.Feel free to criticize!Thanks in advance
Instruction:*Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
My essay:
Life always contains moments that can fully change one's life forever. Throughout of my life, there are two events that will stay in my mind forever, for they has totally led my fate to a total different part.
The first one was the time I spent in Kon Tum, a remote province in the west highland of Viet Nam. As a participant of the campaign organized by the Red Cross Group of District Phu Nhuan in Ho Chi Minh City with the aim of fiving a free health check to impoverished people in Kon Tum, I was mainly assigned to help other members in the group to distribute medicine to the local. Moreover, I also taught English to some children in the area and help to repair houses of their parents. Days after days seeing how people in Kon Tum struggle to make a living in one of the poorest provinces in Viet Nam as well as helping them greatly influenced me, totally changed my perspective and turned myself from a naughty and self-centred guy to a more sympathetic and responsible man.
The second time I felt like my life was not the same was after my performance in the Spring Fair held in my school when I was tenth grader. Playing harmonica in front of hundreds of students was the thing I had never done before, so I was really nervous before going up to the stage. But surprisingly, when I began to play a song, all the anxiety got away, leaving behind only the melody flowing through my mind and coming out from my harmonica. Silence overshadowing the whole room after my performance was soon broken by thunderous applause from everyone. From that day, my confidence was greatly boosted, and so was my liking for music.
(298 words)
Instruction:*Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
My essay:
Life always contains moments that can fully change one's life forever. Throughout of my life, there are two events that will stay in my mind forever, for they has totally led my fate to a total different part.
The first one was the time I spent in Kon Tum, a remote province in the west highland of Viet Nam. As a participant of the campaign organized by the Red Cross Group of District Phu Nhuan in Ho Chi Minh City with the aim of fiving a free health check to impoverished people in Kon Tum, I was mainly assigned to help other members in the group to distribute medicine to the local. Moreover, I also taught English to some children in the area and help to repair houses of their parents. Days after days seeing how people in Kon Tum struggle to make a living in one of the poorest provinces in Viet Nam as well as helping them greatly influenced me, totally changed my perspective and turned myself from a naughty and self-centred guy to a more sympathetic and responsible man.
The second time I felt like my life was not the same was after my performance in the Spring Fair held in my school when I was tenth grader. Playing harmonica in front of hundreds of students was the thing I had never done before, so I was really nervous before going up to the stage. But surprisingly, when I began to play a song, all the anxiety got away, leaving behind only the melody flowing through my mind and coming out from my harmonica. Silence overshadowing the whole room after my performance was soon broken by thunderous applause from everyone. From that day, my confidence was greatly boosted, and so was my liking for music.
(298 words)
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