QUESTION: If you could, what would you do over? (2500 characters)
Hi everyone plz comment on my essay (grammar, clarity, anything). Much appreciated!
It was a normal day. I reached my school's tiny gate at five thirty as usual, embracing the last chilly breeze of the night as it faded away amid the prominent dawn. There was a familiar fragrance wafting with welcoming warmth that excited my appetite, and soon I was seated on a little stool, enjoying my steamy bowl of fresh pork noodles at the cozy little breakfast stand nearby. Within minutes morning commenced; people started to appear; students dotted the street which seemed vacant just moments ago. Within minutes life was in full swing, my breakfast finished, and Monday began ironically as my last day of high school.
Monday meant ten classes, some surprising, as my teachers loved to put it, tests, and traffic jam at the evening rush hour. Despite this, everything disobeyed their scheduled course. An uneasy silence reigned throughout the hours. The only discourse that took place was the exchange of future wishes and reunion promises. Even when breaks came loquacity gave way to calm and reflection, and the often boisterous atmosphere, with its chaotic blend of jokes and gossips, now resembled that of a therapy class. It was one of those moments in life when you realized that technology and geographical closeness meant nothing to a parting party. Time flied, and within a blink of an eye dusk was visible in the horizon, yet soon its visibility would disappear. Our classroom had already been transformed into a farewell dinner, during which nothing significant happened save some unexpected weeping from the boys. Sharing the last embrace, we realized that "Monday was finally coming to an end" , a sentence we had always whispered happily to each other for the last three years, and yet now that very sentence, though unspoken, brought about a sadness equaling to all the joy it ever created. Within minutes the tiny gate was closed, the street vacant, and everyone expelled from school.
Now my Mondays come with new expectations and locations, yet every time the last chilly breeze of the night comes passing at dawn, I always wish to be enjoying my noodles breakfast, ready to start that old Monday again.
Hi everyone plz comment on my essay (grammar, clarity, anything). Much appreciated!
It was a normal day. I reached my school's tiny gate at five thirty as usual, embracing the last chilly breeze of the night as it faded away amid the prominent dawn. There was a familiar fragrance wafting with welcoming warmth that excited my appetite, and soon I was seated on a little stool, enjoying my steamy bowl of fresh pork noodles at the cozy little breakfast stand nearby. Within minutes morning commenced; people started to appear; students dotted the street which seemed vacant just moments ago. Within minutes life was in full swing, my breakfast finished, and Monday began ironically as my last day of high school.
Monday meant ten classes, some surprising, as my teachers loved to put it, tests, and traffic jam at the evening rush hour. Despite this, everything disobeyed their scheduled course. An uneasy silence reigned throughout the hours. The only discourse that took place was the exchange of future wishes and reunion promises. Even when breaks came loquacity gave way to calm and reflection, and the often boisterous atmosphere, with its chaotic blend of jokes and gossips, now resembled that of a therapy class. It was one of those moments in life when you realized that technology and geographical closeness meant nothing to a parting party. Time flied, and within a blink of an eye dusk was visible in the horizon, yet soon its visibility would disappear. Our classroom had already been transformed into a farewell dinner, during which nothing significant happened save some unexpected weeping from the boys. Sharing the last embrace, we realized that "Monday was finally coming to an end" , a sentence we had always whispered happily to each other for the last three years, and yet now that very sentence, though unspoken, brought about a sadness equaling to all the joy it ever created. Within minutes the tiny gate was closed, the street vacant, and everyone expelled from school.
Now my Mondays come with new expectations and locations, yet every time the last chilly breeze of the night comes passing at dawn, I always wish to be enjoying my noodles breakfast, ready to start that old Monday again.