Pls. critique this deeply. Be very very mean.
You can say I was a late motivated bloomer. Before high school, I was living a coach-potato life: playing video games and watching television. For hours, I eagerly waited on my facebook for a simple "lol". As my regrets began to accumulate, I developed a self-defeated outlook in life. Why didn't I join speech? Why did I stay in the house while my friends were out watching movies and playing games? Two years before, no one would have ever expected that I would win the Iowa Auditor position, but when I decided to make a move, I realized I was capable of greater achievements. There are goals in life that we want to accomplish but fail to achieve because we fear of failure and rejections. But if we take risks and persevere, the rewards are great and open up a world of possibilities.
Last summer, I attended a summer leadership and citizenship program in Johnston, Iowa. Fitting with the Boys State Camp's emphasis on civic service, each participant was required to run for a political position. It's selection process was highly competitive and to be elected to one of the highest positions puts you among the top leaders in the state. While this meant that I would have to push myself out of my comfort zone, I was not going to waste my chance to shine at Boys State, so I chose to run for a particularly popular position: State Auditor. Predicting a tough battle, I started my petition early, communicating my vision as I asked for people's endorsements. By the end of the first day, twenty-four supporters eventually signed my petition, and I was ready to run.
The following morning, my heart pounded as I walked into the hall where speeches were to be made for the primaries. When the moderators finally called my name, I closed my eyes and blocked the whispers in my head, whispers that said, "You will fail." Too many times, my anxieties had caused me to walk away from challenging goals. There was always a possibility a failure, but I would have never known the outcome if I didn't try.
I breathed slowly, and started slowly toward the podium as the crowd divided. Whispers circulated like hisses. At the podium, I turned to a sea of staring faces. Again, I closed my eyes, summoned every last ounce of courage and determination, and opened them. Then I began to speak of my life in Philippines and America. The speech seemed to go well, with some audience members paying attention, but to actually win I knew "some" wasn't enough. Inspiration struck when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a green bottle on a desk beside me. Spontaneously, I put aside my planned speech and pointed to the bottle. I blurted out, "What do you see here?" Someone heckled the obvious, " A bottle." Undaunted, I countered, "What is so special about this bottle?" For about three seconds, no one spoke, but then one person declared, "It's green!" Realizing I had captured my audience's interest, I said, "That's right. It's green and what else is green?" Now they got it. "Money!" they yelled back. Buoyed, I began to discuss how the auditor handles money. By then, everyone was rapt. When I took a risk in changing the direction of my speech, it moved me one step closer to my goal.
I emerged victorious, winning the auditor position in the primary with 140 votes. Yet I knew that I needed even more votes for the general election, and I worked tirelessly drawing campaign slogans, posting signs. Now I can honestly say to my classmates that, if I put my mind to it, I could become a workaholic. When I was working on my speech, I revised my ideas for hours, scribbling on different-colored sheets. When it was finally time to deliver it, I was the second to last speaker. The audience was getting a little rowdy and my legs were shaking uncontrollably. In my mind, however, I resolved to deliver a great speech. When I finally reached the podium, I evoked my vision of true leadership: results, accomplishments, and hard work. To illustrate this vision, I told a story about my dad, about how one man's hardships and struggles caused him to seek a better life for him and his family. During school, he always felt inferior. Every day, he pretended to read and stayed in the classroom during recess because he couldn't afford to buy snacks in the break room. Sometimes, he would eat the leftovers left behind by students on the table. When he decided to focus on his education, his life positively changed and now, my family is in America. He passed on his vision of true leadership to me and emphasized education, so his children would not repeat his younger life. Because of his influence, I told the crowd that I wasn't going to waste my opportunities that someone else had granted. While I was talking, no one spoke a word. I ended with a simple thank you, and the crowd erupted in applause. That was when I knew I had won.
The state auditor position made my Boys State experience unforgettable. We wrote bills and advised the governor on which bills were to be signed, gaining new insights into how the government works. During our visit to the capital, we got a special tour, during which we entered actual state offices and climbed up into the usually restricted golden dome of the capital. I forged new friendships and was able to hear my peers' countless interesting life experiences and stories.
More importantly, however, I gained a deeper insight into my own capabilities and strengths. This was not the first time I had taken a risk, but the experience became the catalyst of my self-realization. For the past months, I've grown to appreciate my abilities. During the Christmas concert, I held my head high as I walked in front of a crowd of two hundred to accompany the choir. Now, I do not fear messing up as I played my piano solos for jazz band because I believe my abilities will take the band to the State Jazz competition. For now, I do not stop myself from dreaming of working at Microsoft, or inventing the new ipod touch.
After the Boys State experience, I knew I could compete with the best, and I knew that my persistence would always drive me toward my goals. Now, at my school, I am the only one who is applying to the most competitive schools. I do not know what the future holds and, even now, thoughts of failure and rejection do occasionally swim through my head. However, nothing is going to stop me, as I know that great opportunities and learning are what I will gain from overcoming the college challenge.
Most of the time it is most convenient to do nothing, to just sit around as our life stagnates. Sometimes I ask myself what would have happened had I just sat on a chair and waited to win that position, and I know that the answer is: nothing. So, while the threat of failure is intimidating, embracing that threat also brings us one step closer to success. In the process, we discover our strengths, improve ourselves, and learn. At Boys State, I learned stories of teens overcoming heartbreak or the loss of a friend to become leaders at their schools. To this day, I draw inspiration from those stories, and trust that, while I will always remember these memories, the 2010 Boys Staters will never forget their Iowa Boys State Auditor.
You can say I was a late motivated bloomer. Before high school, I was living a coach-potato life: playing video games and watching television. For hours, I eagerly waited on my facebook for a simple "lol". As my regrets began to accumulate, I developed a self-defeated outlook in life. Why didn't I join speech? Why did I stay in the house while my friends were out watching movies and playing games? Two years before, no one would have ever expected that I would win the Iowa Auditor position, but when I decided to make a move, I realized I was capable of greater achievements. There are goals in life that we want to accomplish but fail to achieve because we fear of failure and rejections. But if we take risks and persevere, the rewards are great and open up a world of possibilities.
Last summer, I attended a summer leadership and citizenship program in Johnston, Iowa. Fitting with the Boys State Camp's emphasis on civic service, each participant was required to run for a political position. It's selection process was highly competitive and to be elected to one of the highest positions puts you among the top leaders in the state. While this meant that I would have to push myself out of my comfort zone, I was not going to waste my chance to shine at Boys State, so I chose to run for a particularly popular position: State Auditor. Predicting a tough battle, I started my petition early, communicating my vision as I asked for people's endorsements. By the end of the first day, twenty-four supporters eventually signed my petition, and I was ready to run.
The following morning, my heart pounded as I walked into the hall where speeches were to be made for the primaries. When the moderators finally called my name, I closed my eyes and blocked the whispers in my head, whispers that said, "You will fail." Too many times, my anxieties had caused me to walk away from challenging goals. There was always a possibility a failure, but I would have never known the outcome if I didn't try.
I breathed slowly, and started slowly toward the podium as the crowd divided. Whispers circulated like hisses. At the podium, I turned to a sea of staring faces. Again, I closed my eyes, summoned every last ounce of courage and determination, and opened them. Then I began to speak of my life in Philippines and America. The speech seemed to go well, with some audience members paying attention, but to actually win I knew "some" wasn't enough. Inspiration struck when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a green bottle on a desk beside me. Spontaneously, I put aside my planned speech and pointed to the bottle. I blurted out, "What do you see here?" Someone heckled the obvious, " A bottle." Undaunted, I countered, "What is so special about this bottle?" For about three seconds, no one spoke, but then one person declared, "It's green!" Realizing I had captured my audience's interest, I said, "That's right. It's green and what else is green?" Now they got it. "Money!" they yelled back. Buoyed, I began to discuss how the auditor handles money. By then, everyone was rapt. When I took a risk in changing the direction of my speech, it moved me one step closer to my goal.
I emerged victorious, winning the auditor position in the primary with 140 votes. Yet I knew that I needed even more votes for the general election, and I worked tirelessly drawing campaign slogans, posting signs. Now I can honestly say to my classmates that, if I put my mind to it, I could become a workaholic. When I was working on my speech, I revised my ideas for hours, scribbling on different-colored sheets. When it was finally time to deliver it, I was the second to last speaker. The audience was getting a little rowdy and my legs were shaking uncontrollably. In my mind, however, I resolved to deliver a great speech. When I finally reached the podium, I evoked my vision of true leadership: results, accomplishments, and hard work. To illustrate this vision, I told a story about my dad, about how one man's hardships and struggles caused him to seek a better life for him and his family. During school, he always felt inferior. Every day, he pretended to read and stayed in the classroom during recess because he couldn't afford to buy snacks in the break room. Sometimes, he would eat the leftovers left behind by students on the table. When he decided to focus on his education, his life positively changed and now, my family is in America. He passed on his vision of true leadership to me and emphasized education, so his children would not repeat his younger life. Because of his influence, I told the crowd that I wasn't going to waste my opportunities that someone else had granted. While I was talking, no one spoke a word. I ended with a simple thank you, and the crowd erupted in applause. That was when I knew I had won.
The state auditor position made my Boys State experience unforgettable. We wrote bills and advised the governor on which bills were to be signed, gaining new insights into how the government works. During our visit to the capital, we got a special tour, during which we entered actual state offices and climbed up into the usually restricted golden dome of the capital. I forged new friendships and was able to hear my peers' countless interesting life experiences and stories.
More importantly, however, I gained a deeper insight into my own capabilities and strengths. This was not the first time I had taken a risk, but the experience became the catalyst of my self-realization. For the past months, I've grown to appreciate my abilities. During the Christmas concert, I held my head high as I walked in front of a crowd of two hundred to accompany the choir. Now, I do not fear messing up as I played my piano solos for jazz band because I believe my abilities will take the band to the State Jazz competition. For now, I do not stop myself from dreaming of working at Microsoft, or inventing the new ipod touch.
After the Boys State experience, I knew I could compete with the best, and I knew that my persistence would always drive me toward my goals. Now, at my school, I am the only one who is applying to the most competitive schools. I do not know what the future holds and, even now, thoughts of failure and rejection do occasionally swim through my head. However, nothing is going to stop me, as I know that great opportunities and learning are what I will gain from overcoming the college challenge.
Most of the time it is most convenient to do nothing, to just sit around as our life stagnates. Sometimes I ask myself what would have happened had I just sat on a chair and waited to win that position, and I know that the answer is: nothing. So, while the threat of failure is intimidating, embracing that threat also brings us one step closer to success. In the process, we discover our strengths, improve ourselves, and learn. At Boys State, I learned stories of teens overcoming heartbreak or the loss of a friend to become leaders at their schools. To this day, I draw inspiration from those stories, and trust that, while I will always remember these memories, the 2010 Boys Staters will never forget their Iowa Boys State Auditor.
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