Its a bit rough but its what I got :)
Constructive criticism please
Describe an experience of cultural difference, positive or negative, you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?
I attend a dominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse group. But as a Latina mutt, I have been exposed to a colorful view of culture. I am surrounded by a milieu inhabited by Latino relatives that have given me the opportunity to experience my heritage by passing down family recipes to teaching me hidden tongues. However, being a Latina, house work tends to be more embraced for women. I have no problem with helping around my house but constantly cleaning and washing morphs from a duty to an onus, which interferes with my studies. Not many people at my school have to endure the chores that I must complete at home. How do I know this? Because for a while, people I knew would ask me why I looked so tired.
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I attend a dominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse groupwith minimal diversity . But As a Latina mutt, I have been exposed to a colorful view of culture. I am surrounded by a milieu (I personally don't know what the word "milieu" means but that definitely doesn't mean others don't) inhabited by Latino relatives that have given me the opportunity to experience my heritage by passing downthrusting family recipes upon me andto teaching me hidden tongues.(I'm not sure what you mean by "hidden tongues"However, being a Latina house work tends to be more embraced for womenBeing a Latina, my culture embraces and emphasizes a woman's role in maintaining the home.Although I have no problem with helping around my house,but constantlythe constant cleaning and washing morphs from a duty to an onus, which interferes with my studies. Not many people at my school have to endure the chores that I complete on a daily basis,. How do I know this? Because for a while, people I knew would ask me why I looked so tired. My answer was, "When I came home from practice, I had to clean the bathrooms, wash clothes, vacuum, prepare dinner, and help my younger siblings with homework." I always got a shocked and confused look from this response because they could not relate to my situation.as evidenced from their shocked reactions to my typical after-school routine of coming home from practice (what sport?), cleaning the bathrooms, washing clothes, vacuuming, preparing dinner, and helping my younger siblings with their homework, in addition to completing my own. As I've gotten older, I had moremy responsibilities around my houseat home have increased . It was frustrating for me because I felt that I was the only person whom had an overflow of chores.I've often felt frustrated, being the only person I know to have an overflow of chores, thinking it unfair that "normal" peopleothers did not have to perform such tasks.
New paragraph.More so,H earing stories about my elderly relatives from when they were younger(doing what? What were these stories about?) helped me realize that having as many chores as I do has taught me the value of time management and, and subsequently allowing me to fulfill all of my tasks. I slowly began to learn how to balance school, sports, home obligations, and my social life. More importantly, my Latino(a?) heritage unknowingly taught me how to take care of myself and my family by mastering daily house work. These handy(word choice) tasks will help me take babyaid me in my steps to adulthood and can allow mewill enable me to help others who are obfuscated by little chores and managing their timechallenged by time management . If I administer my time correctlyBy administering my time correctly , I can accomplish all of my obligations, goals, and aspirations .
I attend a predominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse group. I cannot say it was a diverse environment.
Do you mean to say it is embraced by women?
However, being a Latina, house work tends to be more embraced by women.
I think t should be this way:
However, being a Latina, I experience cultural norms that establish house work as a responsibility for women.
Amelia made a lot of great corrections! Do you have any questions about them?
:-)
Cut the first sentence, I find no relation to your essay. I attend a dominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse group.
Since the above have done most of the proofreading, let me tell you about the general improvements that could be added.
Maybe you could add more connection with overwhelming housework and cultural diversity? I mean I have loads of housework I lose 3 hours a day and possibly so do many other people. I perceive diversity as the reason you are different from others and culture as a certain group's distinct activities that may not be essential for life survival but for some other reason(s). If you are talking about how you are culturally different, maybe adding some Latino elements or any other cultural difference into it that makes it different from others would be a good idea.
On the other hand, maybe you can add more sentences about how you managed your time effectively or other character-building etc??
Hope this helps.
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