liberal arts + Southeast Asian and International History - Brown application essays

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 characters with spaces)

"Brown has one of the best liberal arts colleges in the United States." This got me started in researching about Brown. For the past 6 years, my high school has provided me with an environment that encourages the importance of joy, when pursuing our passion and achieving our goals, to enjoy the learning process. It has also inculcated in me the importance of having global perspective, the need to venture beyond because the world is our classroom. In 2010, Brown was awarded one of the most numbers of Fulbright Grants. This shows that Brown will be able to offer me opportunities to attain greater global vision and to allow me to better understand people of other countries, shaping me to become a true global citizen. Princeton review has also ranked Brown 1st in the country in 2007, 2010 and 2010 for having the "happiest students". Brown appeals to me mainly because of its ability to provide the opportunity to venture beyond the campus and a campus life that proves to be lively and joyful.

Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above? (1000 characters with spaces)
(I chose government, law, social service, environment, media as my academic interests- it's compulsory to pick 5 and the options are limited) (BA- pol sci, international relations is my anticipated degree choice)

During my two years of junior college, I took up both Southeast Asian and International History. I have always been intrigued by how societies can adopt different political systems yet still be able to function properly and prosper, and how successful and adequate political dialogues can be crucial in ensuring regional peace and global perspective. Issues such as the Kashmir conflict between India and Pakistan or the recent deterioration of relations between North and South Korea shows there is an urgent need to enforce on peaceful resolution and to enhance on global cooperation and security. The globalization process on the other hand, has also integrated countries in many different aspects which further enhances the importance of having a good global relation. I'm also fascinated by how leaders of countries talk to each other for example when President Bush said that he could understand all he needed to know about the Russian president Vladimir Putin by simply looking him in the eye.

comments please! anything you think useful would be appreciated:)

In your first essay, you seem to be just listing what other people say about Brown. I think your essay would be stronger if you wrote more about why Brown is perfect for you, personally. You do kind of do this, but it seems generic to me. Maybe try to be more specific, and draw on your experience of Brown, like if you know someone who goes there, or if you've visited the campus.

...has provided me with an environment that encourages encouraged ...
Oh, wait a minute. I don't know if it makes sense to say "encouraged" the "importance"
...emphasized the importance of joy when pursuing our passion and achieving our goals, enjoyment of the learning process.

Princeton review has also ranked Brown 1st in the country in 2007, 2010 and 2010 for having the "happiest students". This is where I start to agree with smarty. The reader knows these statistics. It is better to refer to them in passing while you make a point about the way Brown can empower someone with your unique intentions.

Brown appeals to me mainly because of its ability to provide the opportunity to venture beyond the campus and a campus life that proves to be lively and joyful. This does not really mean anything. You did not successfully convey an idea about Brown cultivating a joyful experience of learning. Maybe an example of how joy is cultivated on campus would help.

I'm also fascinated by how leaders of countries talk to each other; for example, I was fascinated when...

:-)