"My life as a Seahawk"- UNC Wilmington Admission essay

Reflecting on your personal and educational goals, please write how you believe UNC Wilmington will allow you to grow as a student and as a person.

Living in Jacksonville, Florida my whole life, I've always been drawn to marine life. During the summers, I would spend my days at the beach doing what little kids do, such as building sandcastles and finding sea shells. I would always try and find little crabs to pick up or look at the fish in the tidal pools. But I've always wondered about all the different life in the sea. And ever since taking marine biology sophomore year, my interest in the subject has grown even more. This changed my whole outlook on marine life. I want to figure out new ways to protect and help endangered species prevent others from becoming endangered. This growing interest made me realize that I want to do something in my life that involves marine science. This of course has led to an interest in colleges that offer marine science programs. That's what brought my attention to UNCW. My interest in UNCW grew immensely when I attended MarineQuest - Oceans 17. Being so lucky to spend the best three week of my summer there I instantly fell in love with UNCW.

During those three weeks I got to see just how great UNCW is. I spent many days at the labs in Friday Hall and at the Center for Marine Science. Having spent that much time at those places and finding out how much those labs can offer really opened my eyes to all the possibilities for research at UNCW. Every day there was something new to learn and discover at camp. As I spent more and more time at UNCW I came to find something different each day that I liked about the school. They ranged for the location, the research facilities, and the great atmosphere of the school.

UNCW has everything I'm looking for in a school. Coming from a small private school, the size of UNCW is ideal. It's small enough to have small class sizes yet large enough so that I can branch out and grow as a person. The location is another factor that made come to love UNCW. It's near the beach, which I love and it's far enough away from home to where I can become a more independent person. And since UNCW has an excellent marine science program I believe this will make me push and challenge myself to reach my goals of discovering new ways to protect and help endangered marine animals.

Ever since those three amazing weeks all I can think about is how great college is going to be. I just can't wait to start this new chapter in my life and to me Wilmington, , seems like a great place to do just that. I am elated with the prospect of getting to start this new chapter in my life as a Seahawk, figuring out who I am and what I truly want to do with my life.

Hi Amanda!

I would think that the admissions department would want a little more information from you with regard to why you want to attend the college. Your essay, which is nice, is too short (in my humble opinion); the personnel there at the college are looking to read some information about you that they probably cannot capture anywhere else. Try to expound on the ideas that you presented, like being in love with marine life -- which marine life, specifically? Why are you developing an affinity for marine life? What caused such a close relationship between you and marine life? Was it just living in Florida? Where in Florida (it's a big state).

I hope that helps!

--Mark :)

Living in Florida my whole life, I've always been drawn to marine life. During the summers, I would spend my days at the beach doing what little kids do. Building sandcastles and finding sea shellsdo, such as building sandcastles and finding sea shells .

This of course has led to an interest in colleges that offeredoffer marine science programs

Being so lucky to spend the best three week of my summer there I instantly fell in love with UNCW.
--> Try this: After being lucky enough to spend a summer at UNCW, I instantly fell in love with the idea of attending the college.

It's small enough to have small class sizes, yet large enough to whereso that I can branch out and grow as a person.

It's near the beach, which I love.

Thanks Mark, I took those corrections and suggestions you gave and came up with this. I would really appreciate it if you can read this and tell me if it's any better. Thanks again :)

They ranged for from the location to the research facilities and the great atmosphere of the school. --- ah, I don't like this sentence. It is vague and wishy washy.

Here is an idea for you:

The location is a Another factor that made come to love UNCW was its proximity to marine life. It's near the beach ocean, which I love, and it's far enough away from home to where I can become a more independent person. And since UNCW has an this makes it an ideal setting for me as I join the excellent marine science program. I believe this will make me push...

:-)

Thank you! :)