I just wrote my Common app essay and i want to see what you guys thinks. Please be as brutal as you want with the edits because anything will be helpful!
This is a topic of my own
Living the Lie
I have always considered myself a truthful person, but, as of late, I have realized that for the past fifteen years I have been living a lie. Growing up in my Pakistani community, which has dozens of successful doctors, the idea of becoming one felt like the natural choice. Looking back, what appealed to me the most was their altruistic character for which they received the utmost respect. While adhering to this preconceived notion of becoming a doctor, I was inadvertently suppressing my true passion. As time wore on and my outlook on life matured, I began to realize that this "doctor persona" was an assumed identity; it was nothing more then a culmination of my community's expectations thrust upon me at such a young age that I unquestioningly accepted them as my own. So began my attempt to balance my expected goals with my desired goals.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity for math, and it has always been the subject that I looked forward to during the day. When I work difficult math problems, a euphoric sensation takes over, and I feel truly challenged. I remember learning multiplication and long division from my older siblings when I was in first grade, and how I felt so proud to have learned them at such a young age. As I advanced through my school years, and the math classes became more challenging, I enrolled in many high-level science classes to appease my community so as not to appear as though I was deviating from their preferred path-a practice that would continue on until my junior year.
AP Calculus AB brought upon a change in my mindset because it was the first class that not only incorporated all preceding levels of math, but was also the first to satiate my desire to be challenged. It was two nights before the big calculus test and I remember becoming increasingly frustrated with the multitude of questions involving the Chain Rule. I made myself believe that I was not great at math so that I would excel more in science classes. As I thought over and over how to apply this rule into a single expression, and trying to dissect the theory behind Chain Rule as to understand how it works, I saw my friend gazing at me with an expression of concern. As I stared back at him, I saw him glance at my paper, relax, and proceed to pick up a nearby Tootsie Pop. He explained the Chain Rule to me using these objects in a light-hearted manner and after that I realized, due to my analytical personality, I needed to take a few steps back and let my passion for math take over. This led me to acknowledge that I had been suppressing my natural abilities in mathematics just so I could follow a road that I did not want to go down.
I found that giving way to the expectations of my community almost made me give up the life that I truly desired. So, by finally being able to assert myself, I was able to escape the grasp that my peers had on my life, and create a new path for myself that will surely lead to success.
This is a topic of my own
Living the Lie
I have always considered myself a truthful person, but, as of late, I have realized that for the past fifteen years I have been living a lie. Growing up in my Pakistani community, which has dozens of successful doctors, the idea of becoming one felt like the natural choice. Looking back, what appealed to me the most was their altruistic character for which they received the utmost respect. While adhering to this preconceived notion of becoming a doctor, I was inadvertently suppressing my true passion. As time wore on and my outlook on life matured, I began to realize that this "doctor persona" was an assumed identity; it was nothing more then a culmination of my community's expectations thrust upon me at such a young age that I unquestioningly accepted them as my own. So began my attempt to balance my expected goals with my desired goals.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity for math, and it has always been the subject that I looked forward to during the day. When I work difficult math problems, a euphoric sensation takes over, and I feel truly challenged. I remember learning multiplication and long division from my older siblings when I was in first grade, and how I felt so proud to have learned them at such a young age. As I advanced through my school years, and the math classes became more challenging, I enrolled in many high-level science classes to appease my community so as not to appear as though I was deviating from their preferred path-a practice that would continue on until my junior year.
AP Calculus AB brought upon a change in my mindset because it was the first class that not only incorporated all preceding levels of math, but was also the first to satiate my desire to be challenged. It was two nights before the big calculus test and I remember becoming increasingly frustrated with the multitude of questions involving the Chain Rule. I made myself believe that I was not great at math so that I would excel more in science classes. As I thought over and over how to apply this rule into a single expression, and trying to dissect the theory behind Chain Rule as to understand how it works, I saw my friend gazing at me with an expression of concern. As I stared back at him, I saw him glance at my paper, relax, and proceed to pick up a nearby Tootsie Pop. He explained the Chain Rule to me using these objects in a light-hearted manner and after that I realized, due to my analytical personality, I needed to take a few steps back and let my passion for math take over. This led me to acknowledge that I had been suppressing my natural abilities in mathematics just so I could follow a road that I did not want to go down.
I found that giving way to the expectations of my community almost made me give up the life that I truly desired. So, by finally being able to assert myself, I was able to escape the grasp that my peers had on my life, and create a new path for myself that will surely lead to success.