Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


What are the main factors that contribute to good health?



HuuHoa 1 / 1  
Jan 6, 2011   #1
Hello,

I'm first time to post my writing product on your website. I would your help with an appreciation. Thank you very much for your kindly help.

My topic: What are the main factors that contribute to good health?

Our health is the most important thing that we really have in the world. We may take away our house or money, we can survive. However, without our health we will die. For me, being healthy eating, no smoking and keep up my social life are the main factors that contribute to my good health.

Healthy eating is an important thing to maintain my good health. Many people cannot deny that eating high-fat food like French fries and hamburger leads us to obesity and some cardiovascular disease, so I try to limit and also control the mount of animal protein I consume. In addition, I eat more vegetable and fresh fruit which are rich in fiber and vitamins in my daily meal. It helps me not only have a normal blood pressure, but also get a good shape.

Of course, many people believe that nonsmoking is another factor that contribute to our good health. Studies have shown that smoking people usually get some serious disease like high pressure and heart attack than nonsmoker. Besides, smoking may cause lung cancer. That is why scientist has said smoking is harmful to our health. I believe too.

Also, friends are an important part of one's health. Studies have shown that people with a wide range of social contacts get fewer complaints and loneliness than people who don't. Laughing is another important part of health. I like to laugh with my friends and I always feel better when I am with them than I am alone.

In short, by eating properly and no smoking, it helps me stay in good shape and avoid some serious disease. By spending my time with my friends, I can keep in mind happiness. Both are all part of thing that helps me stay in good health.

Traycat 4 / 9  
Jan 6, 2011   #2
We may take away our house or money, we can survive. However, without our health we will die....I found this whole sentence quite awkward..

Try this.. We may survive without house or money, but without a good health, we are bound to die....

For me, being healthy eating, no smoking and keep up my social life are the main factors that contribute to my good health...again you've messed the whole thing

Try this... For me, healthy diet and a good social bonding are major factors that make me healthy.

Good luck
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 30, 2011   #3
I see that you have a great style of writing, and I will just make some small changes. Some of these are not really corrections of errors -- just suggestions.

People may take away our house or money, and we can survive. However, without our health we will die. (I think this is obvious without needing to be said.) For me, being healthy eating, not smoking and keeping up my social life are the main factors that contribute to my good health.

Of course, many people believe that nonsmoking is another factor that contributes to our good health.

... like high blood pressure ...

That is why scientists have said smoking is harmful to our health. I believe too.

You have a great understanding of structure in composition. You introduced the three parts, and then you explained each part one-at-a-time. Great job!


Home / Undergraduate / What are the main factors that contribute to good health?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳