Hi I would be grateful if somebody would give me some feedback.
Does it sound personal or fake?
Does it show I have interest in the school?
Any other weaknesses
College of Arts and Sciences: (500 words)
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
When I was in seventh grade, I constantly struggled with math until I met Mr. O who taught me that math was more than confusing numbers. I remember asking him, "what is the point of learning so many topics in math? Isn't learning how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide the only useful part of any job?" He laughed and said if everybody today believed what I said, everybody would have stopped learning math in fifth grade. He said math heavily influences the world today. Although many do not realize this, math can be considered the universal language.
"We use it everyday and not just for adding and subtracting. When you go to college, calculus is just the basics. There are many other different types of math that you will have to learn especially if you decide to major in engineering, mathematics, statistics, economics; many fields use math. Although engineers might not understand where the formulas they use come from, that is the mathematics' job." he said. I now see what he meant. My father used simple trigonometric functions to figure out how to build his windows. No matter what the shape was, triangular, square, or circular, he used trigonometry to figure out if the metal was strong enough to take that particular shape. Now he is in the real estate developer and needs to accurately estimate all costs and benefits. I now see that math is a concrete, practical, tool for us to see things realistically.
That day, I learned that math is a universal language and I did underestimate its miraculous achievements. Whether we use it to teach students, build a bridge, or design new inventions, math is always in the ether, totally surrounding us in many different hidden forms. When I began my study of math, I thought it was all about memorizing formulas and plugging numbers into solve for a definitive answer. But, Mr. O helped me understand where the formulas were derived from and taught me that if I kept a broad mind, I could have a better understanding and appreciation for this mysterious language.
Although I am uncertain of my major, Cornell's range of academics will allow me to explore different fields. I believe it is important to experience many fields as possible before deciding on which one I would chose for a career. I was also intrigued by Cornell Aboard because my traveling experiences made me realize that learning something in a book is nothing like the real experience. Seeing how experience in the outside is beneficial, I would like to travel to deepen my understanding of the world and apply what I have learned. Cornell's strong academics in math can develop my skills further and help me understand the influence I can have upon society. Each and every moment I spend developing my major in Cornell can help me have the ability to tackle the complex problems in our society today. Furthermore, I have taken many years to develop my skills in playing the flute and piano that they were curative friends that have helped shape who I am. I want to keep those joys with me even if I might not use them in my career. The numerous clubs can allow me to develop my hobbies further to enjoy the simplest times in life.
"what is the point of learning so many topics in math? Isn't learning how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide the only useful part of any job?
Personally, i really liked it. However I thought the starting sentence was kind of dull. you could start of with a question and then explain.
Then again, it looks good either way. Good Luck!
