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"A Medley of Experiences" - Quest Bridge Biographical Essay


Riceboy 2 / 6  
Sep 11, 2011   #1
Prompt
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit) *

First Draft
*Forgive me for my many mistakes

From a young age, my character was derived from what I perceived. Generally, I would imitate the personalities of my friends and family in order to get along with other people. But because I was merely imitating those around me, there was not a genuine 'me.' I was just a carbon copy, experiencing life as someone else. This persisted until my family moved homes after my 3rd year in elementary school.

After moving to our new home, I tried to shape my own personality. But with eight years copying the personalities of others, I did not know where to start. Since I looked up to my Uncle Keith who had recently finished college, I decided to become the 'smart guy.' This did not last long as I did not have much of an interest for schooling during my early years. Next on my list was athletics. Recess served as the perfect time to try becoming the 'jock.' I tried various sports throughout the year, basketball, soccer, dodge ball, but nothing stuck. I employed hit-or-miss method for the reminder of my years in elementary school.

As the summer before middle school drew to a close, I came to the realization that none of the personalities stuck because no person can perfectly fit into one archetype. With this in mind, I mixed and matched the various archetypes I tried to fit into during the previous years. At first I truly thought that I had finally molded my own character. I began to excel in all my classes, receiving high marks, and even bested the majority of students in physical education. However, this illusion broke once I became aware that it was impossible to mix such distinct personalities together. Despite my success, I did not have a feeling of accomplishment that I hoped for. Twelve years had already passed by without being able to experience life as 'myself.' It was not until my first year in high school that I would truly begin to forge my own persona.

I viewed high school as an opportunity to start anew in my quest for 'myself.' Early in my freshman year, Coach Gilbert Diaz of the wrestling team convinced me to join wrestling as it would "build character and turn me into a man." I was skeptical at first; but with the failures I experienced in elementary and middle school, I was willing to try anything. Wrestling practice proved to be extremely difficult and exhausting. It consumed most of my time as practice stretched for three hours in the afterschool. Even fatigued, I tried my best to continue to succeed academically as it was one of the few things I still had pride in from middle school. On the other hand, physical education was child's play compared to wrestling. Not only was I overwhelmed by the intensity, but I had close to no talent for it. Quitting was the only thing on my mind, but Coach Diaz's first words to me rang in my mind each time I thought of giving up. Half-way through the season, I lost my initial attitude. "There's no way a scrawny kid like me could compete with these guys," was often the topic of my mind. I tried to hide my angst, but it eventually permeated through my act. Coach Diaz saw this in me and immediately began to meddle. No matter how much I failed or was beat down, he told me to never give up. Despite my perseverance, failure seemed to be a part of me. I had even begun to believe that wrestling had only taught me was how to be a loser. This eventually grew into hatred of mediocrity, even outside of the wrestling room. In truth, this hatred was the seed of my persona.

The remainder of the school year, I put my new perspective to use and excelled in nearly every aspect. My grades were at the top of my class, I was able to win a spot on the junior varsity wrestling team, and I had a new found confidence. I had not noticed the change until one of my teammates mentioned it. It was true; wrestling did build my character and perhaps even turned me into a man. Not many people around me noticed, but that was not a concern. What I was truly searching for was not acceptance from others, but from myself. This acceptance manifested in the form of dedication and resilience.

Now that I look back on my past, the years of searching for my persona seem like a trial. With the help of Mr. Gilbert Diaz, my trial developed my perseverance that eventually became the basis of my character. This perseverance transformed into unyielding dedication and resilience which spurs my ambitions.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Sep 12, 2011   #2
This persisted until my family changed homes after my 3rd year in elementary school.

After moving to our new home, I tried to shape my own personality. But with eight years spent copying the personalities of others, I did not know where to start.

This did not last long, as I did not have much of an interest in schooling during my early years.

I employed a hit-or-miss method for the reminder of my years in elementary school.

Despite my success, I did not have the feeling of accomplishment that I'd hoped for.

I was skeptical at first; but with the failures I had experienced in elementary and middle school, I was willing to try anything.

It consumed most of my time as practice stretched for three hours in the after school.

Despite my perseverance, failure seemed to be a part of me.---I love this sentence! You're a good writer with a quirky sense of humor.

With the help of Mr. Gilbert Diaz, my trial developed my perseverance, which eventually became the basis of my character.

Have fun in school and good luck!

:)
OP Riceboy 2 / 6  
Sep 12, 2011   #3
Thanks for the grammatical fixes Susan. Much appreciated.


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