Hey guys!! I need help critiquing these essays on their style as well as whether they effectively answer the prompts!! Thank you!!
. There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood, or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
I had never missed the school bus. Therefore, I did not understand why my father had severely reproached me on the one day, three years ago, that I did. It was my fault; I should have packed my bag the night before like I always did. However, it was what came after that taught me a lesson I will never forget. My father had offered me a ride to school. Relieved, I jumped into the car and on the way he told stories of his childhood, of the five kilometer journeys he had had to walk each way to get to and from his school every day. That I did not have to endure the same explained why he had scolded me the way he did. About three kilometers away from my school, he pulled over by the side of the road and at first I didn't understand why. It was only when he bade me a great day at school that I understood that I was expected to walk the rest of the way. I never missed the bus again.
My father represents the environment in which I was raised, one where I was taught to see and appreciate the blessings in my life even those that seemed trifling. There is not a single day that I am not thankful for all that I have and it is this gratitude that has prompted me to want to share all I have with the world thus my love of community service.
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
"I can't believe this! I get it! I really get it!" exclaimed Alexandra after successfully completing a long division question on her own.
It was this cry of elation, the excitement along with a realisation that nothing was impossible or too hard that made me love tutoring and for an hour every day after school for the last two years, I had dedicated my time to sharing my greatest love, learning, with anyone who needed my help. As a part of the boarding community at my high school, I found it easier to offer my help, so much so that I extended the sessions to include weekends. Furthermore, as a boarding prefect, I was trusted with the keys to our school library in which I carried out my sessions.
To me, tutoring is not just about the teaching rather it is about taking a journey with my tutees and watching them gain the confidence to do something on their own. When my tutees learn something new, I see the thrill in their eyes. I smile because it's a thrill we now share.
. There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood, or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
I had never missed the school bus. Therefore, I did not understand why my father had severely reproached me on the one day, three years ago, that I did. It was my fault; I should have packed my bag the night before like I always did. However, it was what came after that taught me a lesson I will never forget. My father had offered me a ride to school. Relieved, I jumped into the car and on the way he told stories of his childhood, of the five kilometer journeys he had had to walk each way to get to and from his school every day. That I did not have to endure the same explained why he had scolded me the way he did. About three kilometers away from my school, he pulled over by the side of the road and at first I didn't understand why. It was only when he bade me a great day at school that I understood that I was expected to walk the rest of the way. I never missed the bus again.
My father represents the environment in which I was raised, one where I was taught to see and appreciate the blessings in my life even those that seemed trifling. There is not a single day that I am not thankful for all that I have and it is this gratitude that has prompted me to want to share all I have with the world thus my love of community service.
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
"I can't believe this! I get it! I really get it!" exclaimed Alexandra after successfully completing a long division question on her own.
It was this cry of elation, the excitement along with a realisation that nothing was impossible or too hard that made me love tutoring and for an hour every day after school for the last two years, I had dedicated my time to sharing my greatest love, learning, with anyone who needed my help. As a part of the boarding community at my high school, I found it easier to offer my help, so much so that I extended the sessions to include weekends. Furthermore, as a boarding prefect, I was trusted with the keys to our school library in which I carried out my sessions.
To me, tutoring is not just about the teaching rather it is about taking a journey with my tutees and watching them gain the confidence to do something on their own. When my tutees learn something new, I see the thrill in their eyes. I smile because it's a thrill we now share.