MIT UPDATES- working as a chemical engineer

Prompt: please update us on any changes or updates since you submitted your application. This might include new activities or awards, changes at home, or anything else IMPORTANT and relevant to your application. Also, if you have any changes in your curriculum since you submitted the application, please note the changes below. (250 words or fewer)

the most enthralling experience

My most recent work experience at B Ltd was by far the most enthralling experience I have ever had in my quest to become a successful Chemical Engineer. Since January, I have been working under Paul X, Designate COO of the sugar milling activities, with BSC in Chemical Engineering and MBA from the University of Y. During this career-oriented work experience, I was able to assist chemists in purifying sugar juice with lime during the defecation process, alternating the pH level of molasses to control their acid content, and analyzing White, Demerera and Moscovado sugar samples using processes such as filtration, fractional distillation, and crystallization, while acquainting with processes such fluid mechanics and heat transfers: common fundamental principles of chemical engineering.

My subscription to MIT Open Courseware classes has further deepened my understanding of Chemical Engineering as I took great interest in reading several mind-opening and insightful articles on its website. I am also currently following Chemical Engineering introductory lectures by Professor Channing Robertson of the Stanford University on YouTube, which provides an outline of the chemical engineering field today and delves into its applications in various fields such as crude oil refining, modern design of heat exchangers, biomedical engineering and material designing.

Diva, is your work experience already mentioned somewhere else in your application? It seems like you are repeating information in your opening statement. Please double check and make sure that you are not repeating information for the reviewer. The prompt asks for the most current information that you can provide. Maybe it is just the way that you formatted that paragraph but it doesn't sound like a new experience that you should inform the reviewer about. If your subscription to open classes is something new, indicate that this is a new activity through the first sentence in the paragraph. You can say "I recently began subscribing to..." in order to indicate a new activity on your part. I believe that reformatting the first paragraph in the same manner, to clearly indicate a new activity will also benefit the essay. The whole indication of the essay should be to introduce new activities on your part in relation to your studies. At the moment, that sense is a bit muddled. A simple clarification per paragraph will be enough to remove the confusion.

@Holt
I never mentioned about that work experience because I began doing it in January, i.e. after submission of my MIT app

However I mentioned about my aspirations of becoming a chemical engineer. Thats why I wanted to include that work experience and the rest.

Diva, it is unnecessary for you to mention "common fundamental principles of Chemical Engineering" at the end of the first paragraph. That is more than obvious to the reviewer who is highly familiar with the foundation of the subject. It comes across as you lecturing the reviewer, which is not something that you would like to do because that means the reviewer will take your tone in a different manner than you actually meant. Instead, after you remove that reference, you can modify the beginning of the paragraph to indicate or say that you have been working extremely hard on further strengthening your foundation in Chemical Engineering through your work experience at that company. This format presentation removes the lecturing tone that the paragraph currently has. There is no real problem with your second paragraph as it contains continuing education information in an acceptable and non-lecturing manner. So I have no suggestions regarding improving that presentation at the moment.

@Holt
My aspirations of becoming a chemical engineer have pushed me to further strengthen my understanding of the subject through a work experience. Since January 2017, I have been working at ALTEO Vision Ltd, under Mr. Sebastien Lavoipierre, Designate COO of the sugar milling activities, with BSC in Chemical Engineering from the University of Natal.

During this career-oriented work experience, I was able to assist chemists in purifying sugar juice with lime during the defecation process, alternating the pH level of molasses to control their acid content and analyzing samples of White, Demerera and Moscovado sugars using processes such as filtration, fractional distillation, and crystallization. Through these activities, I was also able to gain exposure to processes such fluid mechanics and heat transfers.

My recent subscription to MIT Open Courseware classes has further widened my understanding of Chemical Engineering as I took great interest in reading several mind-opening articles on its website. I am also currently following online Chemical Engineering introductory lectures by Professor Channing Robertson of the Stanford University, which provide an overview of the Chemical Engineering field today and delve into its applications in numerous fields such as crude oil refining, modern design of heat exchangers, biomedical engineering and material designing. All these reinforced my desire to apply for a Chemical Engineering undergraduate course, choose it as my career and hopefully pursue it at MIT.

Diva, I am confused by the declaration that you made in the first paragraph. Who has the BSC from the university? From the way you have the sentences set up, it seems like the person you are working with is the one who has the degree, am I right? If the information belongs to the person you are working with, then it is unnecessary information. You can remove that and just incorporate that information into the second paragraph. I am not sure why you felt is necessary to include the first paragraph information in such a detailed manner when a simple overview would have been more than sufficient for that. If you incorporate the first paragraph information until the part that mentions the person you are working with and then connect it immediately to the second paragraph to highlight the work learning experience, the opening statement will be highly relevant and deliver an more informative impact to the reviewer. Once you accomplish that, the statement will finally be ready for you to use.