Ok, so I just wrote this common app essay in 30-45 minutes, so it is really rough. I would really appreciate any editing. Also, if you can comment on how boring/interesting the essay is, that would be great. Thanks!
prompt: evaluate an experience that has changed you.
"Can you guys come into my room now?" asked my mother.
When we heard our mother calling us, the three of us timidly entered our parents' room. We were expecting to be screamed at for not cleaning up our rooms, but what our parents had to say was very different. We quietly sat down on the bench in our parents' room, giving fleeting glances up to our parents. Just then, I noticed tears flowing down their faces. On July 9th 2006, we found out that my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
The next few days that transpired were painful for all of us. We had heard of cancer in movies and in the newspaper, but we had never known what "cancer" really was. All day, we would attempt to comfort each other and tell each other that everything would be fine, but, on the inside, each one of us was worried about my mother's life.
The following week, my mother went through her first session of chemotherapy. I have to say, the hardest thing for all of us was to see my mother lose her long black hair. She now wore a scarf in shame. Just when we saw some hair grow back, she was hit with another session of chemotherapy. It seemed like a never ending cycle.
At night I would lock myself up in my room and weep tears of anguish, though I knew that crying would get me nowhere. I wanted to help and comfort my mother, but what could I do? I was only in 7th grade and I couldn't even make my own sandwich. Those first thirteen years, I was reliant on my mother for everything, but, at that moment, I realized that I had to help out my mother in the house. Yes, she could still walk and do the daily chores around the house, but I could tell that she had gotten weaker, especially after her chemotherapy sessions. It was only right to lend a helping hand around the house.
Throughout the next year, I began to rely more on myself and less on my parents. Instead of waiting on my mother to come downstairs to make food for us, I went ahead and put together sandwiches for the whole family. I even quit the school basketball team so that I could take care of both my brothers and my mother while my father was at work. Whenever my little brothers needed help with their homework, I was there by their side. Likewise, whenever my mother needed me to do a chore for her, I would quickly drop what I was doing. All of a sudden, it seemed as if I was in charge of the house. It was a great feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.
It has now been roughly five years since my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and I can happily say that she is doing great. Those years were hard on all of us. Still, because of those years I have grown into the person I am today. I now realize that life is short. No one on this planet can live indefinitely. Because of those years when I had to grow both mentally and emotionally, I also understand that life is not about superficial items. They hold no weight in this world. No, life is about living to one's fullest potential. Everyone has his own duty, whether it be being a firefighter or being a dedicated teacher. Whatever the case may be, I now understand what I am meant to do in this world. My job in life is to give back to society by being an oncologist. I am indebted to those doctors who helped my mother get better, and, as a result, I have found a love for this field of medicine.
Thanks again! Also, if you read my other essay on pakistani orphans, which one did you like better? I really appreciate all of the help :)
prompt: evaluate an experience that has changed you.
"Can you guys come into my room now?" asked my mother.
When we heard our mother calling us, the three of us timidly entered our parents' room. We were expecting to be screamed at for not cleaning up our rooms, but what our parents had to say was very different. We quietly sat down on the bench in our parents' room, giving fleeting glances up to our parents. Just then, I noticed tears flowing down their faces. On July 9th 2006, we found out that my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
The next few days that transpired were painful for all of us. We had heard of cancer in movies and in the newspaper, but we had never known what "cancer" really was. All day, we would attempt to comfort each other and tell each other that everything would be fine, but, on the inside, each one of us was worried about my mother's life.
The following week, my mother went through her first session of chemotherapy. I have to say, the hardest thing for all of us was to see my mother lose her long black hair. She now wore a scarf in shame. Just when we saw some hair grow back, she was hit with another session of chemotherapy. It seemed like a never ending cycle.
At night I would lock myself up in my room and weep tears of anguish, though I knew that crying would get me nowhere. I wanted to help and comfort my mother, but what could I do? I was only in 7th grade and I couldn't even make my own sandwich. Those first thirteen years, I was reliant on my mother for everything, but, at that moment, I realized that I had to help out my mother in the house. Yes, she could still walk and do the daily chores around the house, but I could tell that she had gotten weaker, especially after her chemotherapy sessions. It was only right to lend a helping hand around the house.
Throughout the next year, I began to rely more on myself and less on my parents. Instead of waiting on my mother to come downstairs to make food for us, I went ahead and put together sandwiches for the whole family. I even quit the school basketball team so that I could take care of both my brothers and my mother while my father was at work. Whenever my little brothers needed help with their homework, I was there by their side. Likewise, whenever my mother needed me to do a chore for her, I would quickly drop what I was doing. All of a sudden, it seemed as if I was in charge of the house. It was a great feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.
It has now been roughly five years since my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and I can happily say that she is doing great. Those years were hard on all of us. Still, because of those years I have grown into the person I am today. I now realize that life is short. No one on this planet can live indefinitely. Because of those years when I had to grow both mentally and emotionally, I also understand that life is not about superficial items. They hold no weight in this world. No, life is about living to one's fullest potential. Everyone has his own duty, whether it be being a firefighter or being a dedicated teacher. Whatever the case may be, I now understand what I am meant to do in this world. My job in life is to give back to society by being an oncologist. I am indebted to those doctors who helped my mother get better, and, as a result, I have found a love for this field of medicine.
Thanks again! Also, if you read my other essay on pakistani orphans, which one did you like better? I really appreciate all of the help :)
