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My moment of becoming mature came far before the day when I became 18 year-old: When I lost my giant



katetan 2 / 4  
Dec 11, 2014   #1
Ples help me, and let me know if you have questions about the essay:)Any comments are welcome!!
Topic: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Technically, I stepped in adulthood at 0:00 in March 5th 2014. But actually my moment of becoming mature came far before the day when I became an eighteen-year-old girl. It is on that night when I saw my father wearing his presbyopia glasses that I really changed my opinion of being an adult and carrying responsibility.

In the modest light of a lamp, my father was leaning on the head of the bed, having a book on his hand. He tried to read the book but he failed. He sighed, like he finally surrendered to something, and wore his glasses.

I saw all this behind the door after my big fight with him about my summer classes. I yelled at him and spoke maliciously to him because I don't want to spend my summer reading and writing. On the moment I saw him wearing glasses; I think I couldn't catch my breath. I never realized my daddy, my hero was too old to read the book without presbyopia glasses. In my mind presbyopia glasses were for those who aged 70 like my grandfather. My dad didn't have to use these glasses; he was a young man who reached his 40s several years ago. He was a giant, a superman who will never grow old and leave me. To me, he was always there, bearing my untimely bad temper and behaviors, comforting me when I was stressed and yelled at everything. I knew he would get old someday but I didn't realize this day came so soon and hurt me so bad. Maybe in my subconsciousness, I would never lose him and he could be with me till forever. But he was old. And he was growing older every day. He had many white hairs on his head and his wrinkles became more and more obvious.

That was the moment when I realize I was not a little girl anymore. I have my responsibility in my family. I should take good care of my parents and be considerate instead of say inappropriate words and make their heart broken. I ought to be responsible for what I did and what my future would be instead of blame them for all the bad decisions. My parents became weaker and weaker, but I was stronger and stronger. I could protect them from possible hurt and sadness. I should do whatever I can to make sure I wouldn't let them down. This is the time when I pay them back. This is the time when I do something for them. This is the time when I should be a better me not only for myself but also for those who cared so much about me.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 11, 2014   #2
This will work Katetan. The strength of this essay lies in your involvement with your family and the fact that you came to a realization of the way that you need to be responsible for yourself and them. The fact that you acknowledge taking responsibility for your bad actions towards them and offering to change for their benefit as a form of payback shows a degree of intellectual and moral maturity on your part. You need to develop the essay further though by explaining how you changed towards your parents after this realization. You need to show the physical manifestation of this maturity in order to make the essay more effective.


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