Multiple disciplines; Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech

Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech, and what do you hope to contribute to our community? (150 WORDS MAX)

Because my interests are spread across multiple disciplines, I found it difficult to find a major and university which catered to my intellectual pursuits. For example, although I find the intricacies associated with biology unparalleled, business and debate excite me, since I often learn about other perspectives and examine new ways of thinking. I also love learning French, and I cannot imagine a curriculum without French classes. As a result, I am interested in attending Georgia Tech because it gives me the best opportunity to pursue my interests. Through the Industrial Engineering major, I can master the sciences and learn essential business concepts and strategies. With the international plan and the Georgia Tech campus in Lorraine, I can immerse myself in French culture while still taking classes for my major at Georgia Tech. I hope to contribute a new intellectual perspective to the Georgia Tech community; one that is able to make connections across multiple disciplines and appreciate the value of other opinions.

I'm actually 13 words over

I personally would never start an essay with the word because. While I realize you are only allowed 150 words I would still try to add a little or take out a little from that sentence for example: My interests are spread across multiple disciplines and therefore I found it difficult to find a major and university which catered to my intellectual pursuits.

Besides that I think that your essay shows that you know a lot about the campus which is always a good thing!

I think the school will like that you know a lot about it. It definitely shows your interest.