Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


The mysteries of human memory: My Common App essay



Lala0131 1 / 2  
Oct 17, 2010   #1
The prompt that allows us to write about anything we want:
I sometimes forget my own birthday and misspell my name, but I can somehow remember my phone number from twelve years ago and the date I first got my glasses. In seventh grade, I specifically made a list of my three earliest memories. I wanted to treasure them forever and was terrified of forgetting them, because then they would be lost once and for all. Well, I forgot where I put the list several years ago, but I still remember the three. The first two I have to admit I have forgotten most of them, and perhaps my mind even manipulated them a bit by making up the lost space with photographs or with what I told myself happened time and time again. But the third one still seems vivid in my head - now whether it's real or not, I'm not sure.

I remember wearing on my wrist a red backpack from a teddy bear and the green carpet on the floor. I was in a dim room, and there was a crowd of people across the railing that divided that room from the main hall. It was my first time at a wedding and was about three years old, sitting on a bench by myself. I am absolutely sure that it was a wedding, but I seem to have no recollection of the actual ceremony. Just that room I remember, as well as the ride home afterwards when my dad bought me a toy stamp.

When the ceremony was over, everybody came out dressed in their traditional clothing and chattering. The bride and everyone else went out to the main lobby passing by me, and my eyes naturally followed the figure in a big white dress. When I stood up to look over the railing, she was crying. Weddings are supposed to be happy and joyful, but there she was, sobbing. I simply could not understand - why would she cry on her wedding day? I did not think anything happened during the ceremony - everybody else was talking to each other and having fun - so just why was I seeing tears? Completely confused, I asked my mother as she came up next to me, "If she's happy, then why is she crying?" Before she left my side to go over to another guest, she told me, "People sometimes cry when they're so happy that they can't help it." I stood where I was and said "oh". Honestly, I was still confused, trying to understand what my mom had just told me.

That day, I was not too happy for the bride; it just did not feel right to me. But today, I can't even imagine how happy she must have been to start sobbing in front of everyone. I surely did not realize it then, but it really is the small memories and their lessons such as this that make us who we are. I treasure this memory, not only because it is one of my earliest, but also because it tells me how my younger self had to learn what seems so simple but so human - a type of knowledge we take for granted.

Lately, I tend to disregard any thoughts on the past because there are more imminent questions to be answered: how long would it take me to do this outline, do I have to play in gym today, and where would I go to school? Yes, lately it has been about the future. But if you were to ask me if I look toward the past or the future, I would say I look both ways. Do I live in the present? I honestly don't know what that means. All I know is that I take whatever past I have, its memories, lessons, and the many regrets, to learn what I want, whether it be a reachable goal or an impossible dream, in my future.

linmark 2 / 325  
Oct 21, 2010   #2
Your essay talks about memory of facts and events versus memory of feelings, sensations (good, bad, sad, happy.) It's an intriguing topic. You first paragraph raised the question of whether memories are real or not:

But the third one still seems vivid in my head - now whether it's real or not, I'm not sure.

Then the 2nd to 4th paragraph goes into your memory of the wedding (although I was completely lost waiting for the significance of the "toy stamp" - what is this anyway?) The "climax of the tale" was your last sentence in 4th para:

I treasure this memory, not only because it is one of my earliest, but also because it tells me how my younger self had to learn what seems so simple but so human - a type of knowledge we take for granted.

I was lost here as well. Was this simple knowledge you learnt as a younger self that people cry when they are happy? If so, it gets lost in the many times you say "small memories and lessons." What I guess I am trying to get at is that it is not evident what "lessons" you learnt from all the memories you listed earlier.

The final paragraph then concludes your essay with a statement: could this be simplified as "learning from the past" to know what you want (to do) in the future?:

All I know is that I take whatever past I have, its memories, lessons, and the many regrets, to learn what I want, whether it be a reachable goal or an impossible dream, in my future.
ConnorT 1 / 1  
Oct 21, 2010   #3
I think you have a strong argument. You answer the prompt with detail and keep the reader intrigued. good work.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 21, 2010   #4
Well, I forgot where I put the list several years ago, but I still remember the three.

Nice!! I am very entertained by this so far...

Yes, lately it has been about the future. ---- good, can you include some mention of how these memories will influence your future as a (name specific work in a specific field)? That will make this perfect.

I look forward to reading more of your work!! This is good, inspired writing.
OP Lala0131 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2010   #5
OK, I just got rid of the toy stamp - that was just meant to be random like remembering the green carpet and stuff (I like random stuff). And I meant "I treasure this memory, not only because it is one of my earliest, but also because it tells me how my younger self had to learn what seems so simple but so human - a type of knowledge we take for granted" as...like...I had to LEARN how emotions are sometimes shown - almost as in, if I had never learned that people smile when they're happy and frown when they're sad, I wouldn't know the difference? Oh I don't know...I don't quite know how to fix it although I know what you mean linmark.

And I should deal with the comma-craze, especially for the last sentence yes...

Also, at the very end I was going to add some version of : "Because in all honesty, all I want from my future to be is happy - hopefully happy enough to cry" and add something about...how I the only way I know to be happy is by studying and achieving my dream. Does that make the whole essay a bit corny? Is it better with or without it?

And thank to all of you very much!!!
linmark 2 / 325  
Oct 24, 2010   #6
Hi Lala,
No - tying back to your treasured learning/memory "happy enough to cry" would NOT make the essay corny. It would make your essay hang together and be more engaging.

the only way I know to be happy is by studying and achieving my dream.

does not quite do justice as an ending. (yes, this part is corny...)
I appreciate how you tried to explain what your younger self learnt i.e. the power of emotions to make you cry when you are happy? Can you come up with another example just to strengthen the point and add focus to your essay? That's pretty powerful stuff!!


Home / Undergraduate / The mysteries of human memory: My Common App essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳