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NYU supplement - Summertime



starkizzlers 3 / 10  
Jan 1, 2010   #1
I know it lacks focus but I dont know how to cram an entire summertime of events into 500 characters. My stepfather and my mother divorced over the summer too, but I didn't think I should add that in because its somewhat depressing and its a long story. Any suggestions? criticism, help, really would be appreciated. Its due in 2 hours. @o@

To kick off my summer vacation I went to Las Vegas the city of lights with my mother. Upon returning home, I took a BCIS course at Lamar High School because i wanted more space for art in my senior year schedule and continued my weekend art lessons. Soon after, I went on a trip with my father to new york, where I met my younger half brother for the first time and spent quality time with some relatives on a road trip covering much of the northeastern coast.

autogunny 3 / 69  
Jan 1, 2010   #2
the city of lights

take that off.. it is too cliche. Maybe you can say: Las Vegas, the land of gambling,.. something funny ;)

new york

New York

and spent quality time with some relatives on a road trip covering much of the northeastern coast.

I would cut that out and elaborate more on meeting your half brother.

Can you critique my BU 3 words?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 11, 2010   #3
It doesn't matter what actually happened. What matters is how well you convince the reader that you are a motivated, serious student with big plans for the future.

This is a wasted opportunity if you just list the activities. Decide on a purpose for this. Consider using this purpose I mentioned above. How can you describe your summer activities in a way that presents you as a student with incredible potential and high hopes?


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