'obsessed with everything fashion' - F.I.T - Fashion Merchandising Managment

I'm looking to get into F.I.T spring 2012 this is my entry essay. please tell me what you think & if anything needs to be changed.

Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed with everything fashion. Shoes, jewlery, clothing and handbags. As a little girl I would put on fashion shows with my barbies. I would carefully pick out their outfits & made sure everything matched. The older i got the more i started to realize that I would turn this passion, obsession into a actual career.

In highschool I took a couple of fashion classes to further my knowledge. Every morning on my way to school I would stop a the store and grab the latest issue of my favorite fashions magazine to see what was the next hottest trend for the season. I was always that person everyone would come to for fashion advice and consistently get asked "where did you get that from?" Some of my friends would even ask me to go shopping with them so that I could help them pick out outfits.

I've always told anyone who asked me that F.I.T was my dream school. I feel as though F.I.T is the perfect school for me not only for the great reputation that it has but because of what it has to offer to it's students. I also feels as though F.I.T has the best fashion merchandising managment program out of all the other school that i have looked into. I believe that the Fashion Institue Of Technology would provide me the right knowledge and stability that i need to accomplish my dream. Such as the experienced professors, internships and networking opptunities. Also the fact that I would be living on campus in NYC, being surrounded by different shops, people would defitly help me in the industry that I wish to prusue.

If I were to get accepted into F.I.T's Fashion Merchandising Managment program I would bring the fact that im a hard worker, great listener, creativty, my ambtious attitude. I also get along well with others.

After I earn my degree I would like to go on and be a buyer for Lord & Taylor like my mother was or some other high end store. Eventually I would like to open up my own boutique in NYC and maybe even sell my own clothing.

Your grammar needs a little cleaning up, especially the first paragraph.

If you can, try to elaborate a little more on your fashion experience in high
school, this is definitely the heart of the essay.

The third paragraph also has some grammatical errors.

I feel as though F.I.T is the perfect school for me not only for the great reputation that it has but because of what it has to offer to it's students

This sentence could be made easier to read.

If I were to get accepted into F.I.T's Fashion Merchandising Managment program I would bring the fact that im a hard worker, great listener, creativty, my ambtious attitude. I also get along well with others.

Expand on these qualities in an additional sentence.

I like the way you mention aspiring to your mother's position, it adds character to the paper.

thanks you for the help!