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'Obstacles and new beginnings' meaningful event in my life for University of Florida



madhavpatel6 1 / -  
Oct 26, 2012   #1
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

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I slowly open my eyes to an ominous but familiar voice, constantly repeating, "Wake up! We have to be there in four hours!" As I hurriedly get prepared, I begin to recognize many close family members around the house. As sudden impulses of emotions hit me, I realize now that waving goodbye to people who I have known from as long as I could remember was just a minor obstacle in my path. Many more hardships were yet to come in my life.

As soon as we stepped off the plane in the colossal airport in the state of New Jersey, my mother said, "It will be the same as India." At every turn were signs filled with alien text, I sarcastically commented to myself, "Yeah... Just like India." The new environment seemed nostalgic, as if I was having a dream. I soon came to a realization the next day that this was not a figment of my imagination.

As a dedicated student in India, my top priority was to acclimate myself to the new language. With a two-month gap, I thought to myself, "Two months of study time", but oh how the time flew by. After the realization that his nephew only studied in Gujarati-Medium, my uncle stressed to me the importance of furthering my little knowledge in the English language. After completing my daily chores, it was a habit of mine to learn at least five new words. One week before the first day of school, Pearl Middle School examined me. Reluctantly as a result of my prior preparation, I was successful in completing the rigorous entrance exam. My childhood years felt short once I had accumulated a handful of friends.

New beginnings are always hard to overcome. After a couple of years pass by, I am nearing towards the present day. My elementary and middle school years seemed like a blur when I reminisce to them. High school, on the other hand, was very different; the stakes were higher along with the responsibility. Micromanaging and communication became a must amongst classmates. During my rigorous high school career, I got the special opportunity to take "Animation and Simulation". At short notice my group was presented with a tenuous project, which proved to be extremely challenging. An attempt was made to collaborate in the beginning, however, progress was too slow and actions had to be taken. At the next meeting, I gathered personal information from the group to find each individual's strengths. With this information at hand, I split the project up to meet the strengths of each group member. With a little micromanaging, my group started to build up steam and successfully completed the project.

Obstacles play a key role in the lifespan of any human. They are not there to keep us out, but rather to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. As a student at the University of Florida, I will always remember that it is my academic responsibility to exceed my barriers.

linmark 2 / 325  
Nov 5, 2012   #2
My childhood years felt short once I had accumulated a handful of friends.

This sentence is out of context!! It did not connect with the next paragraphy. And the New Beginnings title did not play out in what you wrote i.e. what was the new beginning? The example you gave - project "Animation and Simulation" was not clear - what was it? You only wrote about group dynamics and micromanaging - what exactly was the outcome? Was it good/bad/average?? Demonstrate and convince the reader of it!!

You never described a real obstacle, so your closing paragraph's first sentence came out of nowhere. Or was the obstacle learning a foreign language (in your third para.) The connections need to be more coherent, as well as of course the proverbial thesis statement and closing conclusion.


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