I need to cut down the word count to 650 words. This is my commonapp essay. The prompt is "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
Here I am trying to convey the events that drew me to women rights but I feel like I was just rambling. Your help will be appreciated!
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Sweat pours down my forehead as I push my left leg behind,keeping my right leg front and stationery.It's Karate 101:always keep your knees bent till you can't see your toes.Just as I begin to hit my punching bag,I make sure the other women are watching.My punch comes straight from the chamber,my fist turning over with a snap as it comes in contact with the center of the bag.And that is how you do a Chudan Zuki.
For the past two years,volunteering as a karate instructor has been an integral part of my life,aiming to protect women and raise awareness against all forms of violence.Watching these women,poised in frontal stance while throwing spinning kicks,is somehow fascinating.
What brought us here in the first place is our growing awareness of the gender gap of equality between men and women.Women are still not protected by laws protecting them for sexual harassment and domestic violence,both crimes that result from a society that believes women are property and not human beings.The hours we spend together,training,designing brochures,and speaking at schools may be tiring.But the dedication of these women motivate me in a world of doubt and cynicism of the abilities of women,and proves to me day after the day that as women we can be agents of change.Together as ninjas we fight fire with logic,standing up to an repressive community that teaches that women are only weak and powerless.
"Only a thousand years ago,Arabs buried girls alive when they were born.Nowadays,they are buried under oppressive societies." My mother once told me that upon discovering my father's intention to remarry a second wife.For the past few years,I have grown increasingly aware of the social pressures on my mother from her family members.Constantly shamed for raising only girls,she has been blamed and accused of having what they call a 'defect',because she never birthed a boy.The custom of burying female infant alive was practiced long ago among pagan Arabs,fearing the shame and disgrace that would come.Nowadays it is still practiced.But instead of sand it is the pressure of tradition and societal norms.One day I would be in her position,my sisters would be in her position,and many other women have been there.This culture of preferring men over women has been the same for thousands of years,only the way that preference is expressed has differed.
Soon I would be the first female in my generation in my family to successfully graduate high school and to pursue a college education.I would be the first female ever to be educated in my village back in Egypt.
Opposition to girls' education in my family has started twenty years ago.With poverty striking family members,many have resorted to marry off their underage daughters to remove the burden of their expenses.The quintessential female in my family is still one that cooks,cleans and raises children.Yet I disagree.I aspire to put Education on the priority list of all woman,believing that myself and every woman have the right to reach our full intellectual potential.
The responsibility that lies on my shoulders tells me that it is my duty to change this belief.I believe that by being a lawyer,a male-dominated sector in the middle-east,I can better defend women and prove to my family and Arabs that there is no such thing as 'because women are weak' or 'because men are strong'.As I leave for college,I want to prove that I do not need a male guardian to accompany me.I have the ability to be strong and accomplish as much as men given the same opportunities and circumstances.To me,being a woman does not stipulate personal setting,nor does it limit me from being successful.It is not up to society to define my boundaries.To me,'woman' and 'man' are only social constructs.At the place of my education,I particularly await the chance to encounter new people and gain new perspectives.But even as I leave I will always look forward to the day I return and make an impact.
That Karate practice day,packing my bags preparing myself to go home,I bid goodbye to these devoted ninjas.I'm proud of their enthusiasm,and glad that I managed to bring such dedicated women together,in hopes that together our message would reach more people.
Yet my aspiration is for my activism and message to go further.One day I hope to bring women together on a wider scale,working to change ancient oppressive traditions.Women ought to realize that change will only happen when their collective voices drown out the voices of the extreme.And one day I hope to add my voice to this struggle,the voice of a strong educated woman,and turn my vision for my society into a reality.
Religious extremism,centuries old traditions,and poverty.All of which are responsible for the deterioration of the social status of women in both Saudi Arabia,Egypt and all the Middle East.In a society seeking to modernize,the Middle Eastern women's dreams of equality are being derailed by old practices passed on from thousands of years.While writing this essay,I am aware of my family's female members expectances for me,waiting for me to break the chains of tradition.And I want more than anything to give them hope for their abilities and to be a role model to them.It is the desire to change the way my community thinks that is a driving force to everything I do.With true determination I will continue to fight for a cultural revolution that promotes social justice and equality,and I will continue to do so until that is no longer needed.
Here I am trying to convey the events that drew me to women rights but I feel like I was just rambling. Your help will be appreciated!
_________________________________________
Sweat pours down my forehead as I push my left leg behind,keeping my right leg front and stationery.It's Karate 101:always keep your knees bent till you can't see your toes.Just as I begin to hit my punching bag,I make sure the other women are watching.My punch comes straight from the chamber,my fist turning over with a snap as it comes in contact with the center of the bag.And that is how you do a Chudan Zuki.
For the past two years,volunteering as a karate instructor has been an integral part of my life,aiming to protect women and raise awareness against all forms of violence.Watching these women,poised in frontal stance while throwing spinning kicks,is somehow fascinating.
What brought us here in the first place is our growing awareness of the gender gap of equality between men and women.Women are still not protected by laws protecting them for sexual harassment and domestic violence,both crimes that result from a society that believes women are property and not human beings.The hours we spend together,training,designing brochures,and speaking at schools may be tiring.But the dedication of these women motivate me in a world of doubt and cynicism of the abilities of women,and proves to me day after the day that as women we can be agents of change.Together as ninjas we fight fire with logic,standing up to an repressive community that teaches that women are only weak and powerless.
"Only a thousand years ago,Arabs buried girls alive when they were born.Nowadays,they are buried under oppressive societies." My mother once told me that upon discovering my father's intention to remarry a second wife.For the past few years,I have grown increasingly aware of the social pressures on my mother from her family members.Constantly shamed for raising only girls,she has been blamed and accused of having what they call a 'defect',because she never birthed a boy.The custom of burying female infant alive was practiced long ago among pagan Arabs,fearing the shame and disgrace that would come.Nowadays it is still practiced.But instead of sand it is the pressure of tradition and societal norms.One day I would be in her position,my sisters would be in her position,and many other women have been there.This culture of preferring men over women has been the same for thousands of years,only the way that preference is expressed has differed.
Soon I would be the first female in my generation in my family to successfully graduate high school and to pursue a college education.I would be the first female ever to be educated in my village back in Egypt.
Opposition to girls' education in my family has started twenty years ago.With poverty striking family members,many have resorted to marry off their underage daughters to remove the burden of their expenses.The quintessential female in my family is still one that cooks,cleans and raises children.Yet I disagree.I aspire to put Education on the priority list of all woman,believing that myself and every woman have the right to reach our full intellectual potential.
The responsibility that lies on my shoulders tells me that it is my duty to change this belief.I believe that by being a lawyer,a male-dominated sector in the middle-east,I can better defend women and prove to my family and Arabs that there is no such thing as 'because women are weak' or 'because men are strong'.As I leave for college,I want to prove that I do not need a male guardian to accompany me.I have the ability to be strong and accomplish as much as men given the same opportunities and circumstances.To me,being a woman does not stipulate personal setting,nor does it limit me from being successful.It is not up to society to define my boundaries.To me,'woman' and 'man' are only social constructs.At the place of my education,I particularly await the chance to encounter new people and gain new perspectives.But even as I leave I will always look forward to the day I return and make an impact.
That Karate practice day,packing my bags preparing myself to go home,I bid goodbye to these devoted ninjas.I'm proud of their enthusiasm,and glad that I managed to bring such dedicated women together,in hopes that together our message would reach more people.
Yet my aspiration is for my activism and message to go further.One day I hope to bring women together on a wider scale,working to change ancient oppressive traditions.Women ought to realize that change will only happen when their collective voices drown out the voices of the extreme.And one day I hope to add my voice to this struggle,the voice of a strong educated woman,and turn my vision for my society into a reality.
Religious extremism,centuries old traditions,and poverty.All of which are responsible for the deterioration of the social status of women in both Saudi Arabia,Egypt and all the Middle East.In a society seeking to modernize,the Middle Eastern women's dreams of equality are being derailed by old practices passed on from thousands of years.While writing this essay,I am aware of my family's female members expectances for me,waiting for me to break the chains of tradition.And I want more than anything to give them hope for their abilities and to be a role model to them.It is the desire to change the way my community thinks that is a driving force to everything I do.With true determination I will continue to fight for a cultural revolution that promotes social justice and equality,and I will continue to do so until that is no longer needed.
