One of reasons I want to join the Peace Corps is quite selfish - I want to be changed by the world.

Hey Guys and gals,
I'm applying to the Peace Corps and I'm wondering what you guys think of my essay. I tried to be totally honest instead of just flowery. Let me know.

Here's the assignment:

Here's the essay.

One of the reasons I want to join the Peace Corps is quite selfish, to be honest. I want to be changed by the world.

Someone once said that "If you don't get lost, there's no way you can be found." While occasionally I purposely get lost geographically to explore, what I mean in this case is that in order to find myself, in order to be all that I can be-I have to be challenged.

When I moved to the United States, I had the challenge of finding myself. I was forced to stabilize myself on foreign, shaky ground. Through hard work, patience, understanding, passion, and drive... (did I mention patience?) I was able to overcome the obstacles in front of me. But, I didn't only survive-I lived. I was stuck in a situation was nearly unbearable, and I was lucky enough to come out of it a more experienced person.

In hindsight, one the greatest lessons I learned, was that I hold the power to make myself happy by loving what I do and who I am.

I also learned that there is no such thing as absolute truth. The fact of the matter is that we all see things very differently (and not just culturally), we interpret the 'facts' differently and we feel differently. I learned that one of my purposes to accept-and embrace-- the diversity of ideas, of race, of beliefs, and yes, even of fashion sense!

Leo Tolstoy expressed another thing I have learned quite perfectly "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." The sometimes unfortunate reality is that only thing we can control is ourselves, only we can be the change we wish to see, as Mahatma Ghandi would say.

And if they help others, these things and many more, I'd like to teach. I know that I am not done learning about life, the universe and everything, so I want to learn more, to experience more about peace, about life, and about the world.

So instead of continuing to search for the perfect answer that would eloquently and exquisitely inspire you in the same way that I am inspired, I will say that the reason I want to be a Peace Corps volunteer is quite simple.

I'm sorry to say that there are no flashing lights, there is no Hollywood-esque climatic moment. The Peace Corps mission is one that fully aligns with my belief that accepting and embracing differences at home and abroad is a way to peace, and that it is fully achievable if we have the patience it requires.

As for the challenges that my ambition to help as a Peace Corps volunteer will present to me, I think that the 10 Core Expectations could be difficult at different stages of my assignment. However, while they might be challenging, it certainly won't mean that I won't be able to overcome the challenges.

I'm ready to get lost, to jump without a net, and to help however I can while I am at it. I'm ready to become a volunteer and dedicate my life to it.

But, I not only survived.


I was stuck in a situation which was nearly unbearable, but I was lucky enough to come out of it as a more experienced person.


one of the greatest lessons learned


I am not sure how to rephrase this.. you can write

I learnedrealized that one of my purposes was to accept-and embrace-- the diversity of ideas, of race, of beliefs, and yes, even of fashion sense!

Thank you, but do you think that the content is good? You just mentioned typos... I'm wondering if it's good in general.

Hey

I didn't comment on the content because I am not quite aware of the requirements in this field or its expectations.

This is just my feeling... you have to keep the essay a bit formal.. of a serious tone. For example,


I don't think this will do any good to your case.

And one of the specific requirements of the essay is for you to specifically mention the expectations and how you plan to face them. You haven't elaborated much on this point. I feel you have to be a bit more specific in this case.

Anyways, I wish you the best for your selection.

Cheers

I agree with vrajveer89, you need to give specific info on how the 10 core expectations will be met and overcome. Just add some more on that. But, over all, I felt that your paper was very refreshing. I actually like the informal and natural way that you have written it, it portrays you as a living person with feelings and not some robot. While I read this I was very moved by your ideal and felt that I was actually talking to someone who cared. Besides adding more on the 10 challenges I would leave it just the way it is.

Like what? Give an example.


Is this sentence necessary?

Mahatma Ghandi Gandhi
Take care that you don't misspell the names of personalities.

I want to be changed by the world.--- this would make a great title

Someone once said, that "If you don't get lost, there's no way you can be found." While ...

I like the quote, I like your explanation of it, I like your eloquence, and I think this is some great material.

Ha ha, I love it; I really can't think of any criticism for this inspired essay.

If this was a college ap, would suggest more discussion of your long term goals and intellectual interests, but for the peace core I think you are going to do very well with this.