'open and forward thinking' - Why UChicago?

Here is my essay for UChicago!

Thanks in advance!

Good luck on your apps as well :)

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago. (1-2 paragraphs, no word limit)

I am not only captivated by Univeristy of Chicago's vibrant and diverse student body, but also it's open and forward thinking. Having lived in two contrasting countries and multicultural communities during my teenage years, I have grown to value diversity. However, I believe diversity is so much more than just being surrounded by a diverse crowd; it is the opportunity to live, study and interact on many levels with those from differing backgrounds. Univeristy of Chicago's status as a liberal arts institution and its broad array of fields of study will not only expose me to contrasting views, both culturally and academically, but will also prepare me fully for the world of business where innovative ideas can be turned into successful enterprises.

Even though I choose business as my main focus of study in university, I also retain a strong interested in Science, Literature, History, Anthropology, and Sociology. That being said, I yearn to explore the impact of business on society while widening my intellectual and cosmopolitan horizon at Uchicago and in the capital of cultures and opportunities, Chicago. While the comprehensive programs offered at UChicago will fulfil my intellectual aspirations, CAPS will also enable me to take my next step towards turning my passion for entrepreneurship and global diversity into my profession. As a thriving young individual, I believe UChicago is a perfect match for my objectives and ambitioness and my admission to Uchicago will definitely enhance the distinct and foward-thinking quality of the student body.

I am not only captivated by Univeristy of Chicago's vibrant and diverse student body, but also it's open and forward thinking.<-- It is almost as if you're going to finish that with 'manner'. I guess it depends which way you read it, but I'd finish that off with 'manner' or 'culture' or something like that because I wouldn't want to chance it.

Having lived in two contrasting countries and multicultural communities during my teenage years, I have grown to value diversity. <-- I would change this to "having lived in two contrasting multicultural countries during my teenage years, I have grown to value diversity" (I am assuming you are no longer a teenager..?)

I think your essay is short and sweet-- it gets the main idea across. You might want to elaborate further on why you like the program you're applying to specifically at UChicago.

Good luck!

Read my essays?

Thanks!

I am not only captivated by Univeristy of Chicago's vibrant and diverse student body, but also it's state of open and forward thinking. Having lived in two contrasting(? please explain more) countries and multicultural communities during my teenage years, I have grown to value diversity. However, I believe diversity is so much more than just being surrounded by a diverse crowd; it is the opportunity to live, study and interact on many levels with those from differing backgrounds. Univeristy of Chicago's status as a liberal arts institution and its broad array of fields of study will not only expose me to contrasting views, both culturally and academically, but will also prepare me fully for the world of business where innovative ideas can be turned into successful enterprises.

Even though I choose(I am choosing?) business as my main focus of study in university, I also retain a strong interested in Science, Literature, History, Anthropology, and Sociology. That being said, I yearn to explore the impact of business on society while widening my intellectual and cosmopolitan horizon at Uchicago and in the capital of cultures and opportunities, Chicago. While the comprehensive programs offered at UChicago will fulfil my intellectual aspirations, CAPS will also enable me to take my next step towards turning my passion for entrepreneurship and global diversity into my profession. As a thriving young individual, I believe UChicago is a perfect match for my objectives and ambitioness and my admission to Uchicago will definitely enhance the distinct and foward-thinking quality of the student body.

I think this essay is very solid and I couldn't find any superficial mistakes going through. However, there are some wording schtuff that could make this paper flow better.

- You're using (not only...but) structure twice in the first paragraph.
- and in the capital of cultures and opportunities, Chicago. (this phrase maybe a run on/sort of awkward)
- maybe get rid of some "also", too many of them
- Excellent word choices used
- Rather than "objectives and ambitioness", try "objectives and passion"

Take a look at my penn essay? Thanks

Even though I choose business as my main focus of study in university, I also retain a strong interested in Science, Literature, History, Anthropology, and Sociology.

As a thriving young individual, I believe UChicago is a perfect match for my objectives and ambitiones s and my admission to Uchicago will definitely enhance the distinct and foward-thinking quality of the student body.

Very well answered. GOOD LUCK!!

Thank you all :D
Awesome contributions. Any one else like to comment?