'people from different cultures' - Duke Supplement Essay - International Person

(For Arts and Sciences Applicants Only) If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you? Please limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

As an international student, I could not visit Duke and experience it first-hand so I could only rely on the websites and forums when deciding my colleges. Duke stood out to me not only because of its attractive homepage and strong academics, but also because of its broad ethnical diversity as it draws students from all over the world. This attracts me as Duke will provide me with the opportunity to learn about different cultures and values. With my exposure to people from different cultures and backgrounds, I believe I am also able to contribute much to Duke's diversity as I am eager to participate in programmes that involve exploring and helping out in places all around the world. DukeEngage not only gives me the chance to explore different cultures, but it also allows me to provide service and help with the communities' issues.

The Trinity College of Arts and Sciences also offers liberal arts education which will provide me with a well-rounded academic development that will be beneficial to my future career. At the same time, I can also pursue my interests in finance in the Duke Economics Program, Duke in New York: Financial Markets and Institutions, which is a perfect opportunity for me to gain understanding of financial services industry. I truly feel that this will be the place where my efforts will be significant and worthwhile, and I sincerely hope to be a part of it.

Any suggestions or feedback is welcomed! Thanks

Your first paragraph is superficial, but your second paragraph shows that you truly do want to be a party of this university because of its specificity. This is just a suggestion, but try to condense your first paragraph about diversity, and expand your second paragraph the programs of duke and how it interests you.

While your essay is too good, the beginning is superficial, and you don't want to risk being common in the application pool as many people will write like this.

Good Luck with Duke!

Oh, and can you check mine please?

Thanks for your suggestion, so do you recommend for me to start with my interests instead?

Good essay~
I think maybe you want to use shorter sentences because it's easier to understand and won't be misleading. I find many sentences hard to finish reading because they are too complex and long.

Just my suggestions.