Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


Playing the ball can be compared to a different aspects of life. Basketball - commonapp prompt #1



SKIPPERTECH 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2015   #1
Mum and Dad use to play basketball during their mid-30s.They weren't surprised when I grew interest in the game (heredity) and always ask a lot of questions about basketball.

I remember mum once told me about how she had a jump ball with dad during one weekend. It was then that I checked myself through the sidelines of this beautiful game. Every bounce brings back sweet memories of how I transferred love through the passes to friends and teammates. I recall how I maneuvered my way through life, the dribbles, the hustles and the crossovers just to overcome opponents- enemies who only seeked my downfall it just feels good when you make that rimless shot 'swish'. The sound of victory.

But life won't always be on a silver platter, during the match with Air Force Junior High, just when I was about to get a clear chance at my target, I heard that sound. The annoying sound from the referee's whistle. In life rules can be annoying sometimes but they are there to guide us in the right direction. The other time I almost made a jump shot but fear gripped me as I missed my opportunity and came back down. And again the whistle aargh! I just hate that sound, as my coach always say 'opportunity comes but once'. I felt miserable when I missed the shot but in order to succeed in life, you go upwards and never downwards. A lesson I learnt from the ancient rules of the game. Battling dangerous obstacles was like a normal routine but jumping couldn't always be the case. Most experienced (Mom and Dad) would smile even in the face of danger. They would often try a fake on their enemies to get a clear chance, this and many more things I learnt from my parents: humility starts from being a beginner and the more humble you are, the more you learn from the PROs of the game.

At times trying every possible means to achieve my target, I end up making air balls and getting blocked by boundaries- failing. "But in this quarter of life, you have to encourage you your own discouragement re-gain that strength, steal the ball from your enemy, drive through to break those boundaries and make that powerful lay-up " Dad once said .Sometimes I get selfish and try to find the shortest way available-thinking I can do it all . Eventually I either get blocked or find myself on the ground- disappoint all your teammates with a knee injury for which might never recover. You got fouled alright, it's just a second chance on a free shot to make the right decision- undo your past mistakes. During this time you are left alone to decide what might either make or break you at that moment or maybe for the rest of your life (it was like choosing between life and death). I took a deep breath and released the ball, I missed. I couldn't believe it and I know you wouldn't either. But when all hope seemed lost, my teammates encourage me (skipper let's play like a team).

In life you move fast alone but far together. Friends mean a lot because we can achieve anything together as a team. You should always remember to listen to your coach, the ultimate drive of your game. God almighty.

irfan727 49 / 68  
Sep 17, 2015   #2
hello, I'm Irfan, I'll try some suggestion on your passage

They weren't surprised when I grew interest in the game
this is u talk about past activity and u put two verbs, so i suggest
They weren't surprised when I grew interested in the game

In life rules can be annoying sometimes but ...
in this case, we need put comma before one of FANBOYS which but included here
In life rules can be annoying sometimes, but

The other time I almost made a jump shot but fear
this is as well,,
The other time I almost made a jump shot, but fear

In life you move fastalone but far together
becomes like this
In life, you move fast alone, but far together

thanks
justivy03 - / 2265  
Sep 17, 2015   #3
- MumMom and Dad use...

- ButHowever, life won't always ...
-In life, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) rules can...
- ...say '" opportunity comes but once'" ( when quoting someone, use the quotation mark) .
- ...routine but jumping couldn'tis not always be the case.
- They would often try a fake onto trick their enemies...

- At times, trying...
- ... you have to encourage you your own discouragement...
- ...forfrom which I might never recover.

Very entertaining!!! I made very minor remarks and I suggest that you consider reading your essay like a reader and not as an author, this will help you proof read your essay and in doing so, you will make it a point to input your missing punctuation marks if there's any and eliminate some if needed.

Overall, it's a very well written and entertaining essay. Good job!!!


Home / Undergraduate / Playing the ball can be compared to a different aspects of life. Basketball - commonapp prompt #1
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳