Hey :)
Please help critique the following essssaay!!! MUCH APPRECIATED :D
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One of my favorite pastimes is playing the piano. Throughout the years, I have had various teachers, and I am grateful to each one for the knowledge, experience and talent they gave me. However, the most important lesson I learnt, although it may sound clichéd, is to first play with your head, then with your heart. The music jumps to life, capturing the audience's soul and imagination when the piano playing comes from the heart. Playing the piano using this method during my Grade 8 Piano Exam in 2004, my examiner's last words to me are still, to this day, etched in my mind: 'you made my day'. Now, I not only adore playing the piano, I enjoy participating in various national and international competitions and performing in concerts and school events. (See my awards section for my details.)
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should i incorporate some humor/detail into it? i feel like it might be a bit cliched, even though i actually mean what im writing?
pleaseee give suggestions!!
xxx
Please help critique the following essssaay!!! MUCH APPRECIATED :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
One of my favorite pastimes is playing the piano. Throughout the years, I have had various teachers, and I am grateful to each one for the knowledge, experience and talent they gave me. However, the most important lesson I learnt, although it may sound clichéd, is to first play with your head, then with your heart. The music jumps to life, capturing the audience's soul and imagination when the piano playing comes from the heart. Playing the piano using this method during my Grade 8 Piano Exam in 2004, my examiner's last words to me are still, to this day, etched in my mind: 'you made my day'. Now, I not only adore playing the piano, I enjoy participating in various national and international competitions and performing in concerts and school events. (See my awards section for my details.)
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should i incorporate some humor/detail into it? i feel like it might be a bit cliched, even though i actually mean what im writing?
pleaseee give suggestions!!
xxx