"A plethora of opportunities"- Waitlist Essay for UC Davis

I was waitlisted at UC Davis and to accept a spot onto the list, I have to write a prompt on why "UC Davis is the right place for you to continue your education." The response can only be 200 words at maximum. Mine is at 195 words at the moment.

the degree in genetics

There aren't many universities that offer a degree in genetics and I was excited to discover that a school close to home offered the degree I wanted. Since I discovered my curiosity for genetics in my biology class, UC Davis became, and remains, my number one choice of colleges. Genetics is a fast growing field that I want to be a part of, so much so that I shadowed one of Davis' biological technicians, Shannon Waters. I visited her in her lab several times over my senior year of high school to ask questions about her work in animal genetics and to experience first hand if I want to pursue a career in a lab. My experience shadowing her has only made me more determined to succeed and gain an education in genetics.

I also find the diverse opportunities in campus clubs and organizations enticing and I'm excited to explore their possibilities. With such a diverse student body, I am certain I will find a place to fit in. I also look forward to building a unique skillset and resume through internship programs offered by one of the nation's leading universities in biological sciences.

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me advice! I really appreciate your help!

Hi Amanda, it's a great opportunity that you have been waitlisted rather than rejected, so it's a 50/50 chance and it's going to be a great idea for you to focus your essay on certain elements to increase your chance of acceptance.

They want to see that you are really and still interested in attending their school.

I like the first part of your essay, it includes a personal connection and genuine interest in their school. Also enhance the second paragraph that way and you are good to go. It's a limited word count, so make the best of it

Amanda, since you were wait-listed the last time, it is understood that you continued your education at some college institution. Either as a Biology major at a college or university, or by taking some related courses at a community college. In order to prove that you are worthy of continuing your education at UC Davis, you need to discuss what sort of changes and preparations you have made since you were wait listed. The first 100 words should discuss the preparations that you made in terms of classes you took and your current GPA at your current academic institution while the last 100 words should explain how your previous academic training will be highlighted, improved, and enhanced by the programs at UC Davis. So you will need to connect your current accomplishments with the possibility of further enhancing your knowledge through the academic training and extra curricular activities at UC Davis. Your current version does not prove that you have made ample changes to your circumstances that could warrant your removal from the wait list.