Prompt: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.
I fell in love with Boston University during an unofficial visit to the campus. While there, I met many welcoming people and got to appreciate BU's convenient location, beautiful architecture, and the diverse student body. Since then I have visited the BU website and have researched all the classes offered to a Political Science major. I also attended the BU meeting at my school, where the speaker raised my love for BU to another level by talking about the various clubs and activities on campus. The perfect mix of school and fun at BU will allow me to be successful academically, meet new people, and enjoy the college experience. My knowledge of Boston University has proven that it is the perfect school for me to continue my education.
I really liked that the campus was in the middle of the city so it was convenient for everyday purposes; yet it is located parallel to the Charles River which offers a calm, small city vibe.
You have some tense issues in the above sentence, you start off with past tense but then switch to present.
I like your statement, but maybe you could write a strong concluding sentence about BU and how much you want to go there, it would really wrap the whole thing up.
Good luck!
hey everyone! please read over my short answer and lend your feedback! I need a lot of help!!
Hey, I only have two suggestions...
"I fell in love with Boston University during an impromptu visit to the campus."
"he people I met at BU were very welcoming and I immediately felt comfortable in the environment."
maybe you can say "and immediately made me feel comfortable" That way your linking your comfort to the people you met..
The rest is great!
Good Luck
those are great suggestions!! thank you so much :)
The people I met at BU were very welcoming and I immediately felt comfortable inwith the environment
I also attended the BU meeting at my school, where the speaker took my love for BU to another level by talking about the various clubs (give a specific?) and activities on campus, such as the Greek system and sporting events. My research has proved (proven? I am not sure) that Boston University is the perfect school for me to continue my education.
Overall pretty good essay
It's a pretty good essay and offers good points, but those points can be elaborated upon. What specific classes and programs can help you? What specifics clubs have drawn you in?
@ingenium- thank you so much. for the clubs and activities, i gave the example of their Greek system and sporting events, i thought that was a specific example. if you think i can change that to make it better, please let me know.
@frito- thank you!! i wanted to go into more detail but i have a limit of 750 characters (not words) so it's too difficult to fit specific details into the short essay.
@ oOCiCiOo: that helps a lot. i'm not sure how I can add more things will the 750 character limit. is there anything you believe I should take out? (below paragraph is 743 characters)
I fell in love with Boston University during ...
You should include more things that would set BU apart from a majority of other colleges. Most of the things that you wrote about could be said about hundreds of other colleges. Is there something unique about BU? Why did you really want to apply? Why do you think it is a good match for you? What will it be like for you to live there? These are the questions that you need to be asking yourself when you are writing these types of essays.
Since my visit I have done research on BU through its website and pamphlets. I also attended the BU meeting at my school where I learned about classes for a Political Science major and how to get involved at BU by joining student government or rushing for a sorority.
-these sentences don't explain why you are interested in BU
Hope I helped! Good Luck :)
^^ Is this better?
Honestly, I don't think it's changed that much. You have the same sentences there, you just reworded them and put them in a different order. What this is missing is something that sets BU apart from the other colleges and universities. Why is BU important to you? This is what you need to write about. Praising the school should not be your main priority. They know who they are. They want to know who you are and why you chose them.
Since my visit I have done research on BU through its website, pamphlets, and meetings.
-this doesn't explain why you chose BU. get rid of this sentence.
Good luck!!
i have to keep that sentence because it asks "what steps you have taken to learn more about us."
i chose to apply to BU BECAUSE i liked the lifestyle there. My hometown in very mellow so I knew I wanted to go to college in a city. i also liked the convenient location because it's located just across the bridge from MIT (where my friend will be going) and close to locations that can be useful in everyday life. i like the architecture because i've always wanted to go to a school that has that old, grandeur feel to it.
i also want to go there because it has a 15-1 student-teacher ratio which ensures that students will get more personalized attention from their teachers.
the prestige of the professors is important to me because i know they will be capable of challenging me.
BU has a great UNICEF campus initiative club (i'm the president of my high schools UNICEF club) so that's an added bonus
so my reasons in my essay are THE reasons i WANT to go to BU and the reason i chose BU. i'm not sure how I can change it anymore. There is a 750 character limit so I can't extend my essay either.
the first answer is really good, just one problem, you may want to mention the last few sentences first because when I read about the "convenient location and perfect architecture" I thought wow that's not a very good reason, but then I read your last lines, admissions officers are pressed for time and may not be as forgiving. Also, the first line in your second essay, "During my four years at Boston University" kinda makes it sound like you're sure that you'll get in which doesn't really give off a good impression. And also a life cannot be narrow-minded, only a person, so you are calling yourself narrow-minded, thats not good, end the sentence with "one way". Other than that it's great! Good Luck!
i like your idea of putting the last lines in the beginning, but they're asking how we FIRST became interested and those are the reasons I FIRST became interested in BU. After i did my research I learned about the "low student-teacher ratio, the prestige of the professors, and the plethora of campus clubs," which is what eventually sealed the deal. if that makes sense?
i put "As an undergraduate at Boston University..." to start off my second essay. is that better?
thank youu!! :)