Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
As I trudged through the foot of snow on my way to school last February, I stopped and thought to myself, "why don't I do this more often?" Granted, North Texas doesn't usually get a foot of snow in the winter, but I wondered why I haven't ever trekked the 3 miles to school and back. It's absolutely beautiful weather, besides the fact that I had lost feeling in my toes. All weather is stunning, nature is stunning, the world is honestly stunning. The thing is, the way we are headed; my children won't get to see the beauty that I do. It's slowly, but surly affecting all of us.
Animals are losing their habitats; we are literally destroying their homes for our "big business." We also are killing them recklessly, in animal farming. Hardly being able to be called farming, animal farming is one of the biggest contributions to pollution. Production of one pound of beef emits the green house gases equivalent to driving an SUV for 40 miles. It takes 2,464 gallons of water to produce one pound of beef in California. This is the same amount of water you would use if you took a seven-minute shower every day for six entire months. This high amount of pollution is destroying our skies, killing our animals and harming our land.
Most of the cars we drive are also major factors of air pollution. Mankind drives these massive almost monster cars, that are known to get very few miles to the gallon. We use fossil fuels to power our cars, and that itself depletes the earth. Every little thing we do harms our home.
Honestly? I know that most of this cannot be avoided. I know that we are all guilty of contributing to the pollution problem. I also know that we can take little steps to help slow down it's effects. Take shorter showers, try a veggie burger instead of a hamburger, slow down on the fast food, take a walk instead driving everywhere, and make sure the products you use are environmentally friendly. I'd like to live in a beautiful world when I get older, and I'd like my kids to be able to lay out and look at the stars, or take a long walk through a foot of snow, and enjoy the beauty of our earth.
any suggestions? please and thank you!
No need for the comma in that last sentence of the first paragraph.
Also, you should replace "it" in that last sentence of the first paragraph with a word that is more specific and interesting.
Capitalize "Why" because it is the first word of a sentence you are quoting yourself saying.
Animals are losing their habitats; we are literally destroying their homes for our "big business."---This sentence seems naive and simplistic... It is obvious, so it does not need to be stated... instead go beyond the obvious and express a unique perspective.
Most of the cars we drive are also major factors of air pollution. ---Again, too simplistic.
I like your writing style a lot, but the essay needs to dig deeper. You can cite some recent articles, for example. I'm sorry to be critical! It is definitely a great essay, but not in the sense that it introduces a new idea. This just expounds something we all know.
:-)
