What do you guys think of my essay answering the prompt "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Does it show that I like making my own path in life?
I'm at my starting point. I have already walked ten times round my room and parts of my left arm feel rough from brushing a few times against the two chairs in my room. I stop for a brief moment and change to an anti-clockwise direction. Although I revolve my room at four times per minute, my mind moves at Mach speed. I'm now capable of a depth of concentration that is normally denied to my fickle mind.
I summon memories orderly, starting from my childhood. As I move along my timeline I hit upon the time when my father was unemployed for a long stretch of time for the first time. This was the time that I first experienced borderline poverty and the impression that this 'riches to rags' experience had on me was an unfavorable one. For a long time I had no qualms about losing tennis balls (with which I played cricket at the time) every other day but in an instant this changed and I had to make sure I didn't lose any tennis balls for at least a week or I couldn't play cricket for the rest of the week. My mother had to scramble to find jobs at private clinics to make ends meet. While my mother's health suffered due to a lack of free time, I suffered from social isolation and bad grades. Poverty in a third world country is not kind to anyone. However, even a rock couldn't have kept me down forever. At one point I realized that brooding over my father's unemployment would not get me results and I took control of my life. I started experimenting with my social interactions and my studies. When others would talk to me I would smile and compare its effects with those of a neutral expression. In studies, I experimented with memorization and learning by heart and found that the latter had always suited me better. I could finish in a few hours what would take a few days to memorize. While my social life has improved gradually, my grades rose drastically. I shocked my naysayer teachers by getting 8 As on my O'levels after getting lower than average marks in 9th grade, the year before. My life has been on an uphill climb ever since and even setbacks like an emigration before I started the 12th grade only motivates me to make the best use of my time.
I sit down on my bed tired after walking round and round for so long. While my legs rest, my mind soars. The endless possibilities I have created with my own hands are spread before me. I wouldn't exchange my experience of overcoming poverty for any other.
I'm at my starting point. I have already walked ten times round my room and parts of my left arm feel rough from brushing a few times against the two chairs in my room. I stop for a brief moment and change to an anti-clockwise direction. Although I revolve my room at four times per minute, my mind moves at Mach speed. I'm now capable of a depth of concentration that is normally denied to my fickle mind.
I summon memories orderly, starting from my childhood. As I move along my timeline I hit upon the time when my father was unemployed for a long stretch of time for the first time. This was the time that I first experienced borderline poverty and the impression that this 'riches to rags' experience had on me was an unfavorable one. For a long time I had no qualms about losing tennis balls (with which I played cricket at the time) every other day but in an instant this changed and I had to make sure I didn't lose any tennis balls for at least a week or I couldn't play cricket for the rest of the week. My mother had to scramble to find jobs at private clinics to make ends meet. While my mother's health suffered due to a lack of free time, I suffered from social isolation and bad grades. Poverty in a third world country is not kind to anyone. However, even a rock couldn't have kept me down forever. At one point I realized that brooding over my father's unemployment would not get me results and I took control of my life. I started experimenting with my social interactions and my studies. When others would talk to me I would smile and compare its effects with those of a neutral expression. In studies, I experimented with memorization and learning by heart and found that the latter had always suited me better. I could finish in a few hours what would take a few days to memorize. While my social life has improved gradually, my grades rose drastically. I shocked my naysayer teachers by getting 8 As on my O'levels after getting lower than average marks in 9th grade, the year before. My life has been on an uphill climb ever since and even setbacks like an emigration before I started the 12th grade only motivates me to make the best use of my time.
I sit down on my bed tired after walking round and round for so long. While my legs rest, my mind soars. The endless possibilities I have created with my own hands are spread before me. I wouldn't exchange my experience of overcoming poverty for any other.
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