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"prepare me for larger-scale engineering" - Purdue Personal Statement



hkk 1 / 1  
Sep 12, 2010   #1
I struggle with writing, and would like some help with my personal statement. I need to add at least another 75ish words, any suggestions on what to add? Thanks to all who read and provide insight.

-Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and/or professional goals.

Engineering became a part of my life long before I ever knew about it. As a child I liked designing and building, thinking of different ways to create things. I enjoyed exploring the mechanics of how those things worked as well as finding new methods to recreate them. During this time engineering became my unacknowledged hobby. It wasn't until much later in my academic career that a greater appreciation for engineering developed. After the first lesson in an actual engineering course, it became the subject of all my research. I was fascinated with all the new information I was learning and wanted to find ways to apply it to the world around me. It was then that I decided I wanted to pursue engineering as a hobby and profession.

An education from Purdue would help prepare me for larger-scale engineering; I would be able to progress from small projects to real-world applications. The experiences gained at Purdue would expand my knowledge of the field, guiding me toward the specific type of engineering I'm best suited for. Attaining a degree from a university with such a highly-regarded engineering division would be one of my greatest accomplishments, and will surely aid in attaining a position as a respectable engineer. It would conclude my life as an aspriring student and lead to a new beginning as a great engineer.

mea505 - / 265  
Sep 12, 2010   #2
Engineering became a part of my life long before I ever knew about it. As a kid child I liked building and creating, thinking of different ways to make everything create things. I enjoyed exploring the mechanics of how things worked, as well as finding new methods to recreate them.

Try to find similar ways you can change the other paragraphs, and then re-post the essay. Then, we can possibly add to it collectively.

Mark
OP hkk 1 / 1  
Sep 14, 2010   #3
I changed a few lines and added a little more info in the first paragraph, thanks for the help. Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

I added a few notes about changes I'd like to make in parenthesis, but am having trouble with wording.

During this time engineering became my unacknowledged hobby. (<-- could use different word?) It wasn't until much later in my academic career that a greater appreciation for engineering developed. After the first lesson in an actual engineering course, it became the subject of all my research. (<-- I want to say that it was all I studied outside of schoolwork.)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 14, 2010   #4
Purdue would prepare me for larger-scale engineering

Obviously ... everything you say in this essay is a statement of the obvious. It shows that you can structure paragraphs nicely and express ideas, but it does not show that you are reading professional journal articles every day, keeping up with the most current research, and reading about the lives of the people working in your chosen field. Write this essay in a way that shows how active you are in getting a head start in this field you have chosen.

:-)


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