I paced the well-worn tracks in the carpet, a frown set on my face. "Inspiration," I scowled, "late again, as always." The old-fashioned grandfather clock tick-tocked away, as if only to remind me of my time crunch.
"Probably dreaming about his future Pulitzer," Resolve snickered nonchalantly, lounging in the corner. "told you you couldn't depend on him. It's always me doing the work around here." A voice spoke up mournfully from under a pile of blindingly bright light: "Of course you do, but can you ever really do it right?" Worry, the eternal pessimist, appeared, clutching her bag of nervous butterflies tightly. Seeing my dismay, Resolve came to my rescue before I could succumb to Worry's infectiously apprehensive tone and doled out some more light from the end-of-the-tunnel. "Not to worry, we'll get this done and over with in a jiffy!" he reassured me. I knew I shouldn't have let him dip into Inspiration's collection of 18th--- century British literature, but Curiosity, little mischief-maker that she was, led him to it.
Calling in some old friends, we hopped onto the train which was waiting right outside the door. Progress, tipping his hat, waved us on cheerfully, signaling for the gears to jump into action. "Finally," he said, looking relieved, "we hoped you'd join us soon!" As we made our way through the first compartment, scenes glimmered from all around us: me waving the first book I ever read (Spot Plays Hide and Seek), the judges congratulating me on my first-place finish in a music competition, the graduation ceremony from Chinese school. Looking around at my greatest moments, I realized that this was Pride's domain. The lady herself stood in the doorway, radiating confidence. Noting my surprise, she gently reminded me, "To produce a great work, you must first start with pride." As I pondered her words, I drew Strength and Ambition from within myself, companions to Resolve and good reminders of my optimistic beginnings.
We moved on, catching glimpses of more old friends here and there. Respect swept a low bow as we passed by, Tradition peeking out from behind, tugging on his coattails. Many images of me studying late into the night blurred by, and the twins Discipline and Diligence turned around, throwing us identical sharp salutes. I saw myself at five years old, sawing away on a tiny violin. The nostalgic view quickly moved on, but it turned into a sequence of pictures featuring my growth as both a musician and an artist. Momentarily puzzled at the lack of forward motion, it suddenly hit me that we were not preparing to meet another valuable friend but were already under his guidance. "Very good," Perseverance murmured from behind me, "You have watched yourself grow, holding on through all hardships over the years. Patience is most important in the pursuit of greatness." With that, just as I finished a concerto in his display with a flourish, he gifted me with a jar of his own Patience and we were swept out into the next compartment...
...and into something I'd never seen, heard, or even felt before. It was brilliant, it was powerful, it was raw, but most of all, it was beautiful. It was like a combination of every piece of amazing music I'd ever heard and every single golden sunset I'd ever watched, all bundled together in a twist of harmony. Simultaneously expressing ringing triumph and piercing sorrow, sensations surrounded us; I could taste the crispness of the air, see the colors of the music, smell the warm sunshine. Accompanied by a subtle waft of fresh-baked cookies and warm laundry, Aestheticism herself floated towards us. "Ah," her melodious voice rang out, "the final frontier. Here, you'll find everything that makes your own life worth living and everything that you've appreciated for its beauty." Looking around, I felt the cool swirl of the essence of pure me manifest itself into a solid form. Smiling softly, Aestheticism pushed it towards me, naming it Expression and describing it as the string to tie all my ends together in my creation.
There were no more characters to meet at the end of the train, but I took a final look back as we prepared to disembark. Everything that held me together glowed as a whole, reminding me that I already had everything I needed to carve my own path. Brimming with new knowledge already yet eager to continue the journey and meet new characters, I finally caught a glimpse of the train's exterior. Her name was Discovery and I was satisfied to realize that yes, that's exactly what I had just experienced. Progress beamed down at us, bidding us good luck and leaping back aboard, though leaving behind part of his essence for my collection of souvenirs. Looking down, my bag of gifts seemed to shiver in anticipation: Strength, Ambition, Patience, and Expression shone back at me, excited by the prospect of Progress joining us in the future. As the clock struck 3 am, there was a commotion just outside the door and it was flung open with flurry of motion. "Am I late? Did I miss anything?" Inspiration panted, wild-eyed and dazed. I merely rolled my eyes and smiled.
-preparing to get flamed- i turned this in for my EA school (deferred), written at 3 am two days before the deadline and i didn't edit much at all. is it okay for commonapp or way too risky? or needs more editing?
"Probably dreaming about his future Pulitzer," Resolve snickered nonchalantly, lounging in the corner. "told you you couldn't depend on him. It's always me doing the work around here." A voice spoke up mournfully from under a pile of blindingly bright light: "Of course you do, but can you ever really do it right?" Worry, the eternal pessimist, appeared, clutching her bag of nervous butterflies tightly. Seeing my dismay, Resolve came to my rescue before I could succumb to Worry's infectiously apprehensive tone and doled out some more light from the end-of-the-tunnel. "Not to worry, we'll get this done and over with in a jiffy!" he reassured me. I knew I shouldn't have let him dip into Inspiration's collection of 18th--- century British literature, but Curiosity, little mischief-maker that she was, led him to it.
Calling in some old friends, we hopped onto the train which was waiting right outside the door. Progress, tipping his hat, waved us on cheerfully, signaling for the gears to jump into action. "Finally," he said, looking relieved, "we hoped you'd join us soon!" As we made our way through the first compartment, scenes glimmered from all around us: me waving the first book I ever read (Spot Plays Hide and Seek), the judges congratulating me on my first-place finish in a music competition, the graduation ceremony from Chinese school. Looking around at my greatest moments, I realized that this was Pride's domain. The lady herself stood in the doorway, radiating confidence. Noting my surprise, she gently reminded me, "To produce a great work, you must first start with pride." As I pondered her words, I drew Strength and Ambition from within myself, companions to Resolve and good reminders of my optimistic beginnings.
We moved on, catching glimpses of more old friends here and there. Respect swept a low bow as we passed by, Tradition peeking out from behind, tugging on his coattails. Many images of me studying late into the night blurred by, and the twins Discipline and Diligence turned around, throwing us identical sharp salutes. I saw myself at five years old, sawing away on a tiny violin. The nostalgic view quickly moved on, but it turned into a sequence of pictures featuring my growth as both a musician and an artist. Momentarily puzzled at the lack of forward motion, it suddenly hit me that we were not preparing to meet another valuable friend but were already under his guidance. "Very good," Perseverance murmured from behind me, "You have watched yourself grow, holding on through all hardships over the years. Patience is most important in the pursuit of greatness." With that, just as I finished a concerto in his display with a flourish, he gifted me with a jar of his own Patience and we were swept out into the next compartment...
...and into something I'd never seen, heard, or even felt before. It was brilliant, it was powerful, it was raw, but most of all, it was beautiful. It was like a combination of every piece of amazing music I'd ever heard and every single golden sunset I'd ever watched, all bundled together in a twist of harmony. Simultaneously expressing ringing triumph and piercing sorrow, sensations surrounded us; I could taste the crispness of the air, see the colors of the music, smell the warm sunshine. Accompanied by a subtle waft of fresh-baked cookies and warm laundry, Aestheticism herself floated towards us. "Ah," her melodious voice rang out, "the final frontier. Here, you'll find everything that makes your own life worth living and everything that you've appreciated for its beauty." Looking around, I felt the cool swirl of the essence of pure me manifest itself into a solid form. Smiling softly, Aestheticism pushed it towards me, naming it Expression and describing it as the string to tie all my ends together in my creation.
There were no more characters to meet at the end of the train, but I took a final look back as we prepared to disembark. Everything that held me together glowed as a whole, reminding me that I already had everything I needed to carve my own path. Brimming with new knowledge already yet eager to continue the journey and meet new characters, I finally caught a glimpse of the train's exterior. Her name was Discovery and I was satisfied to realize that yes, that's exactly what I had just experienced. Progress beamed down at us, bidding us good luck and leaping back aboard, though leaving behind part of his essence for my collection of souvenirs. Looking down, my bag of gifts seemed to shiver in anticipation: Strength, Ambition, Patience, and Expression shone back at me, excited by the prospect of Progress joining us in the future. As the clock struck 3 am, there was a commotion just outside the door and it was flung open with flurry of motion. "Am I late? Did I miss anything?" Inspiration panted, wild-eyed and dazed. I merely rolled my eyes and smiled.
-preparing to get flamed- i turned this in for my EA school (deferred), written at 3 am two days before the deadline and i didn't edit much at all. is it okay for commonapp or way too risky? or needs more editing?
