"Put my college degree good use by helping people" why I want to join the Peace Corps

Hi, I am looking for feedback on my essay to help me get into the Peace Corps. The prompt is below followed by the essay. Thanks for the help in advance.

* Your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer; and
* How these reasons are related to your past experiences and life goals.
* How you expect to satisfy the Peace Corps 10 Core Expectations (please be specific about which expectations you expect to find most challenging and how you plan to overcome these challenges).

I want to serve in the Peace Corps because I believe it would be a good way to put my college degree good use by helping people. Throughout my life I have been taught to help those who are in need. At Loyola Marymount University they challenged their student body to live a life for others. As a recent graduate I want to take up this charge and serve people. The Peace Corps offers a completely unique experience of immersion into a different world while at the same time promoting service I feel the Peace Corps also offers a life changing opportunity to learn about a foreign community and oneself. The experience of serving in the developing world will allow me to see new places, learn another language and to gain leadership experience. These skills will be helpful in my life as I move forward and try to secure either further education or a position in the business world.

Through previous experiences I feel that I will have no problem fulfilling the Peace Corps expectations. By being open to new situations, willing to learn, and understanding that patients is a virtue will help me integrate into my host community as well as adapt skills to improve the quality of life of those around me. I realize that by being accepted into my host community that I become a representative of them, that I should uphold their laws, and that I should represent them with pride. Wherever the Peace Corps request me to go, I will gladly go. I recognize that I am responsible for my conduct and that I am representative of the United States therefore I should conduct myself to the highest standard of ethics. I understand the well being of myself and those around me are a top priority and good judgment should always be used to not jeopardize them. Finally, the most difficult expectation to meet will be preparing to serve for 27 months. I feel that it is a long time to be away, however, I have been away for long periods of time before and understand that it is important to the experience to be away for that length of time.

The Peace Corps offers a meaningful experience that will change the lives of people and my own. If given the opportunity I would love to serve in the Peace Corps. By being a volunteer I hope to make the world a better place.

I want to serve in the Peace Corps because I believe it would be a good way to put my college degree good use by helping people. obviously. Too obvious... and also, you should not use "good" twice in a row like that, because it is a little awkward.

Throughout my life I have been taught to help those who are in need. ---Now this is a better way to start the essay! :-)

At Loyola Marymount University they challenged their student body to live a life for others. As a recent graduate I want to take up this ...this is very good stuff. I think getting rid of that first sentence will make it perfect. The rest of this paragraph is great.

Run on sentence: I recognize that I am responsible for my conduct and that I am representative of the United States therefore I should conduct myself to the highest standard of ethics.------Put a period after "States." and start a new sentence.

Another run on:
I feel that it is a long time to be away, however, I have been away for long periods of time before and understand that it is important to the experience to be away for that length of time.

Put a period after away. Or.. you can use a semi-colon.

Great job, this is impressive!