What qualities that I possess could possibly add value to your community? To be honest, I don't know

UGA Admission Philosophy Statement Essay

Statement:

<br >Basically, the applicant must have these:
-> Excellence in academic achievement, intellectual pursuits and creative endeavors
-> An understanding of and respect for intellectual, social and cultural differences
-> Significant commitment to citizenship through public service, school activities, community involvement, leadership and/or family
->The ability to benefit from and contribute to a culturally and intellectually diverse community of scholar-citizens

And other qualities they wish to say.

Prompt: Which qualities that you possess will add value to our community?

My UGA Qualities

I'm not very good at writing essays... So help me out, please.

After reviewing my application, I'm sure you're aware that I am not a prestigious academic scholar like the majority of the applicants. I don't have a 3.8 - 4.0 GPA. I don't have any honorary awards. I'm not the leader of various clubs. I don't play a sport. I'm not active in my community. Basically, my stats aren't as competitive as the other applicants. So what qualities that I possess could possibly add value to your community? To be honest, I don't know.

Throughout my high school years, I haven't been putting in maximum effort when it came to my grades and my life outside of school. I didn't get many chances to participate in extracurriculars. When I had a chance, I didn't take it because I was afraid. I wasn't active in my community because I was afraid of it. As I look back, I ask myself, 'What was I so afraid of?" Honestly, I think I was afraid of the challenge. I was afraid of failing. However, by not doing these things, I've already failed myself. I'm stuck with mediocre applications, with my essays being my only hope. Now, I have to face the challenge of getting into college.

I do possess individual qualities that could be beneficial to UGA such as my creativity through my creative writing, my honesty, and my determination, but I do not believe it is enough. If I am accepted, I wish to use my time at UGA to try to gain more qualities. Using this, I will be able to add real value to your community. Even if I'm not accepted, I'll be able to add add to wherever the road takes me.

I am sorry about what you went through. Here are my suggestions:

I believe your essay would definitely benefit if you sounded a bit more confident in your essay. There is nothing wrong with accepting a failure; in fact that shows maturity on your part. But sound more bold in your writing. Admission officers want to see your eventual growth. Take this essay and make it more confident-sounding, if that makes any sense. For instance:

I do not think this part should be included: "When I had a chance, I didn't take it because I was afraid. I wasn't active in my community because I was afraid of it. As I look back, I ask myself, 'What was I so afraid of?" Honestly, I think I was afraid of the challenge" If you really want to include it then you have to say that you now are not afraid to take challenges. Because you basically leave the reader thinking that you are still afraid of taking challenges. What you can do is either take this out or leave it and insert phrases that will show that that you have grown out of these "afraid" moments. Admission officers want to admit students who have grown from their mistakes and are confident. Be brave in your writing.

I hope this was helpful. Feel free to ask me any other questions.

@mualla
Ah. I understand what you mean. Thank you very much, mualla. :)

Hello,

Check out my essay for this prompt:

essayforum.com/undergraduate/uga-faculty-determined-student-body-74586/

I also need help on it but I hope it sort of gives you an idea of how to change your essay. Be optimistic.

Trajon, The last thing you want to do in this essay is highlight your weaknesses and reasons why you should not be considered an applicant at the university. Why would they even consider your application for admission when you already know and are telling them that you are not a worthy candidate. The reviewer will only have to read the first 2 sentences in this application before deciding that you are wasting his time and put your application in the non-consideration list. If you want to make this essay work for you, even though you are not qualified on some points, there are some things that you can do.

The first thing that you should do is go through the list of requirements again, notice how you don't need to focus on the academic aspect of your accomplishments. You also don't need to mention the lack of extra curricular activities either. What you need to do here, is just discuss the strength of your understanding of cultural and intellectual diversity through your interaction with various ethnicities in your life. I refuse to believe that you do not have some sort of diverse culture interests or interactions. Try to find even one moment that you can share in this aspect and share it.

Next, look at yourself in terms of being a simple person. Not a student or anything else. What do you see as your strengths? Your last paragraph summarizes your strong points outside of the expected discussion. So you should delete all the paragraphs above that and use the last paragraph as your opening statement. Then expand on the discussion in the succeeding paragraphs. That should have a more positive depiction of your personality and strengths.

Never take a defeatist attitude when writing an application essay. You do not want to tank your own chances for admission before the reviewer even gets to see your other documents.

@Holt

Alright. Thanks very much, Holt.

@Holt

Alright, so I'm using my last paragraph as my opening now. Of course I can't just say, "I do have individual qualities that could be beneficial to UGA." So what's a good way to start this off?

Also, I'm African American. UGA is a predominately white university. Would stating that I could bring more diversity to the community be good thing to say?

You could open by saying something along the lines of "I do not believe that grades and civic mindedness are the only qualifications of a good student. I believe it is a part of the character development of a person, but it will not dictate how well a student does in class." Then you can introduce your strengths as "Take me for example. I am not an exemplary student, but I am an exemplary person. As a moderate achiever, I believe I deserve the same consideration as the high achiever.These are the qualities that... "

Definitely bring in the diversity discussion in the essay if you feel that you can develop it into a paragraph that will allow you to strongly and convincingly represent the way that your color can bring added value to the community. I am very interested in reading how you will present this aspect of your personality. Try to be conciliatory in your presentation. Given today's political climate in the U.S. it would be best if you could discuss this in a hopeful and positive manner. I look forward to specifically reviewing that portion of your revised essay.

@Holt

Jesus, I regret not taking AP Lang and Lit... I'm just really bad at essays. Thanks, Holt. I'll try my best.

Edit: This is supposed to be 250-300 words. So I have to condense it a bit.

The majority of your essay deals with how you did not accomplish anything because you were afraid of challenge.

It's not a bad idea to talk about your own weaknesses in an essay like this, but the more important thing to do here is to show how you will use those weaknesses aforementioned and possibly be conducive to UGA.

Your conclusion is weak and vague; you need to shorten the first half of your essay and put more details and effort on the second half part of your essay. Try to be more specific about the qualities that you have that will contribute to UGA.

Make sure that you mention how you will overcome the weaknesses and how the precess or results of doing so will contribute to UGA.