Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 char)
Last school year, my 3rd period class in the morning always woke me up. AP Physics C with Mr. (asdfgh) was usually the highlight of my day. (asdfgj), whose Alma mater happens to be Brown, is the most riveting teacher I've ever had. It's not unusual that we started our day talking about random things related to physics. We've talked about light speed on Star Trek as well as about quantum mechanics (or how we as students didn't understand a lot of it). But Mr. (asdffg) never advertised Brown; it was the kind of thinker he was that did. He had this crazy way of thinking that was coherent - most of the time anyway. This great intellectual man loved physics and astronomy and it was quite apparent. It led me to believe that Brown was a place where people were allowed to foster their interests and passions. The open curriculum seems to be the obvious answer. At what other institution can you make you own curriculum that would push you in the way that you knew yielded the best results?
This is a draft. I already know its a bit too much of a story. My real problem is that I dont know where to start taking it from a story to the reason why. Any feedback is much appreciated.
This is a great way to answer the question. All you have to do to make the transition is to say that the kind of school that nurtures that kind of thinker is the kind of school you want to attend. Then you can go on and talk about the open curriculum, etc.
Have you read other essays for Brown? I was just wondering if you got a certain feeling out of my essay. I want to come off as inspired. I also want to show my quirkyness (which I havent had the liberty of adding to the essay yet).
This is an excellent introduction.
"But Mr. (asdffg) never advertised Brown; it was the kind of thinker he was that did."
My favorite line :) What you have here certainly makes you seem inspired, there's not much else to say really. Hope the rest of your essay turns out just as well!
Its not bad. Some tweaking on your part could strengthen the essay undoubtedly.
Last school year, my 3rd period class in the morning always woke me up.
This is sort of humorous, I guess, but still, indicating that you are the sort of student who sleeps through classes you find boring is not a great idea in an admissions essay.
youngjoony
"He had this crazy way of thinking that was coherent - most of the time anyway."
For some reason, this is my least favorite line- I think I know what you're saying, but you should try to make it clearer some how.
Brown short answer: WHY?
Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 char)
On the second floor of the Rock, past the Writing Center, into a wing with books printed 200 years ago, and to your immediate left there is another wing completely absent of shelves. It may look like a scene from the Matrix - doors doing down both walls. I turned to my friend who was giving me a tour and whispered, "What the hell is this?" Having said nothing, I assumed she hadn't even known about it. I looked into the window of the first room on my right and I found a desk built into the wall as well as your average rolling chair. I then noticed that all the rooms were empty. Maybe it wasn't time for these rooms to be of use, not being midterms yet. But what did that matter? Who in their right minds would pass on those amazing rooms, which I bet are sound proofed? Those rooms were created because someone thought to put them there. Someone assumed that one day someone who needed the quiet would find those rooms to become one with knowledge and learning. That's what I would do.
Any feedback about anything would be greatly appreciated. Grammar? Syntax? Diction?
I have no experience in admission essays so forgive me for making this comment.
You say the char limit is 1000, but you haven't even used a quarter of it so far.
It is obvious that you were amazed of what you saw but you sound like you have decided to apply in few mins after seeing those books and the empty room.. Is it just 200 years old books and the empty room influenced you ? There must be plenty of students have been dreaming to study at Brown for a long time and I bet most of them have more to tell about Brown.
Maybe this essay has a depth which I did not get while reading.
Good luck
Actually, this essay has 991 characters. Character count should not be confused with word count. That said, Orlando makes a good point. You can't say that you want to go to Brown because you went to the library there and found a cool room to study in. Or at least, you shouldn't say that. Hopefully, your reasons have to do with the reputation of the university, the way its programs are designed, its class-sizes, etc. Things that matter, in other words, to the quality of your education.
I think you can mention that visiting the library is one reason that Brown attracts you. But you have to connect it with the special of Brown, such as openness. Hope that helps! :)
Actually, this essay has 991 characters. Character count should not be confused with word count.
Ops, sorry
Your answer to the question has a good idea and is written pretty well. Having written a response for the same question, I feel like you should supply Brown with specific reasons relating to your academic interests as to why brown, and not any other college, is perfect for you. Any college has a library and study room for you to use.
I think you should keep what you have, but shorten it significantly and expand on parts of Brown that relates directly to you academically and extracurricular-ly (is that even a word? lol). Just putting my two cents in, take it as you will.
the essay is well written, but it doesn't really answer the prompt. The purpose of these kind of prompts is basically to tell the college what you know about it and why it is a good fit for you. you should expand on the distinct qualities of Brown, like class sizes, academics, or student life, and why those qualities make Brown especially appealing to you.
I have to write a similar short answer essay for UChicago as well.
I hope this helps! =)