ARE YOU "THE ONE?" Student seeks quirky, independently-minded partner with a passion for academia and an eye for design. Must enjoy lengthy discussions about T.S. Eliot and William Faulkner over a cup of Earl Grey. An equal appreciation of the hustle of city life and the tranquility of the countryside is imperative - candidates should love theater and indie music as much as riding horses through the woods and enjoying the peace and quiet of nature. Looks are important - those with classic appeal and a touch of modernity will be viewed most favorably. Most importantly - please be a free-spirit! A spur-of-the-moment game of Quidditch, exploring Europe, and carnival rides with friends must be as appealing as academia. If you believe you fit these criteria, please respond at earliest convenience!
I was beginning to feel like the college-search version of a spinster, destined to grow old alone, surrounded by cats. I had spent months perusing viewbooks, taking virtual tours, and scouring websites, desperately seeking the right fit. Every time I got my hopes up, I would find a glaring fault that would send me right back to square one. Renowned theater department, killer location...but nowhere nearby to keep my horse? Scratch that one off the list. Beautiful campus, high grad-school placement rates - but students have nicknamed it "Where Fun Goes to Die?" No thanks, I happen to like my fun. Oh! This looks promising - everyone is smiling, the classes are top-notch, and there are horses right on campus! But wait, what's that horrible screeching noise? The Theater department's fall musical, you say? Oh dear.
By the time I dragged myself to the Vassar website, I was thoroughly worn-out by the whole process. I loaded the virtual tour, and tried not to pay attention to the gorgeous, Hogwarts-esque building and incredible gardens decorating the site. The campus proved to be lovely throughout - with a lake, fantastic buildings, and even a farm! I could see myself reading Much Ado About Nothing in the Shakespeare Garden, or discussing philosophy over tea in the Rose Parlor. Pulling myself away from the panoramic views, I clicked on the Academics link. One of the first schools to offer a Drama program? Over 1,000 courses? Fantastic financial aid? Steeling myself for the downfall of this seemingly wonderful school, I navigated my way to the Drama page. I nearly laughed out loud with relief at what I saw - if Meryl Streep and Lisa Kudrow are counted among the alumni of the program, it must have something going for it! I browsed the faculty and the past productions, feeling steadily more excited. Performance opportunities were so abundant that even I would have to pick and choose. Even better, I could spend my junior year studying Musical Theater at Mountview Academy in London!
Had I found it? Was this the Holy Grail of colleges, "The One" that could satisfy my laundry list of requirements? A quick Google search reassured me that my horse, Dante, would have the choice of several nearby stables. So with a satisfied smile, I started my application to Vassar, already planning a song for the upperclassmen.
your first paragraph This confused me. I thought you were reading a poster someone posted on a school hallway and you were reading it. Show me that it is a "SCHOOL" that YOU are looking for, and that your "partner" is not a friend you're trying to find. that's my impression
Apart from that, I. absolutely. loved. it. yep, that's right. it is a fun, witty, well-written, essay. I was smiling while reading, and your descriptions of the colleges u discarded, they sounded real. it flows and it's very natural. great job!
Review mine?
Thanks! I formatted the beginning to look like a newspaper personal ad thing for the actual application, so that, I think, made it a little clearer. Headed over to yours right now! :)
An equal appreciation for the hustle... ------I think "of" is okay, too, but maybe you like "for" instead?
I like the rythm of this sentence this way:
...destined to grow old alone and surrounded by cats.
I loaded the virtual tour (no comma necessary) and tried not to pay attention to the gorgeous, Hogwarts-esque building and incredible gardens decorating the site.
Wow...Hogwarts-esque is a good word...
You realize that there's a character limit and this exceeds it right..?
I thought so too, but if you upload your 'Why Vassar' there's no limit, as long as you keep it a sensible length (ie., not two full pages ;)).
this is way beyond the deadline and wayy over the character limit. lol
btw I could not upload a document for my Vassar supplement. Are you sure about that?
I uploaded my Why Vasser essay and it was a full page.
I submitted it by the deadline, the discussion has just been rehashed since then.
