Rice - Why xxx school of study (interested in science)

With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study. (1100 characters)

I've always been strongly interested in science. When I was young, I often used to go to either my father's medical office or my mother's engineering firm after school. There I would always find something to satisfy my seemingly uncontainable curiosity, whether observing the making of blueprints or assisting my father with the dissection of pig's hearts for his research. Today, having completed A-Level in Biology and Chemistry, and various science courses in college, I have gained a better understanding of science. What's more, I significantly furthered my interest in such a dynamic subject. I enjoy the ...

after edits:

I watched in sheer awe as the surgeons removed the diseased heart that was covered with yellowish pale tissue from the patient. The view of an empty pericardial sac was surreal. Before I could realize, they had already began sewing the new heart into place. It resumed its strong and regular beat soon after the blood flow was restored. I was utterly overwhelmed. It's been three years since I witnessed that heart transplant surgery, and my interests in medicine had only furthered as time passed. Having completed various science classes in high school and college, I have not only gained an extraordinary wealth of factual knowledge, but also enjoyed the intellectual challenge of having to use facts and judgments to resolve problems, especially in organic chemistry lab where we learned to determine the identity of unknown compounds using a variety of methods. Through my hospital volunteer and EMT training experience, I had the privilege to witness humanity at its best, realized that medicine cannot only save lives, but change lives. Now my goal is simple: Medical School, and Wiess School of Natural Sciences would adequately prepare me to achieve that

any comments would be appreciated! thanks

mmm, you dont need the intro sentence, its a common error, in reality this is just a waste of space. but anyway, your just narrating for the first few lines, no, you got create an image, start with something more profound, a specific moment in your lab that really captivated you. I know this is a short essay, but through that moment you can describe your interests in the dynamic subject. There are lots of good images you can think of when researching pig's hearts. Also, this is just a general admissions note, if possible, you want to avoid saying you worked w/ your father, often times this just looks like the silver spoon method, aka you just had everything given to you, you didnt have much initiative. I know this is controversial, but i think if possible(look at hte rest of your app first), but if possible take that part out. Its a little subtle thing that could rub an adcome the wrong way.

Anyway, the reason i emphasize the strong introducing image is because otherwise this essay just reeks of clicheness, another med student whos main goal is to help others puts adcoms to sleep and the whole intellectual challenge idea is just vague jargon, show it through that pig ex or whatever else you might have, that image you convey, you dont need to go two lines talking about it. Also, if possible talk about something specific in this rice academic field, maybe there department is particuarly strong w/ pig research, i dont know, think of something. Pig research is a really interesting topic, use it and its specifics to guide you through your essay. Good luck:)

your English is really great~


is strongly the right adverb?



nice usage of the words here. another thing, try not to use the word science too many times.


keep there parallel.

overall, very nicely written. good luck at Weiss.

This sentence is a bit long, I would suggest you cut it down.
Also, why not come up with a more interesting opening sentence? The one you use is pretty obvious and doesn't attract the reader a lot.

Otherwise, this short answer is great. Very specific and straightforward, really argumentative and strong. I like it!
Good luck and please help me with mine if you have the chance :)

Hi there,

Nice work here! My main suggestion for you is to keep your language as specific as possible. 'I've always been interested in...' is a very common way to open an essay. Though it may be true, because many applicants write it, it loses some level of authenticity. The same goes for your closing sentences ('benefiting others').

Instead, I'd pull in some specific event that confirmed your interest in the field. What was 'a' moment that cemented your desire to pursue this track? You refer to intellectual challenge--can you cite an example? e.g. cutting-edge research that revolutionized treatment of a disease, a particular topic in your studies, volunteer work, an inspiring professor, etc.

In a short essay like this, just make sure that you keep your content focused and specific. This essay can work to distinguish you from other applicants, so use it as an opportunity to do so!

Cheers,
Brooke
Ivy Eyes Editing