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RISD essay- if you can eliminate one thing from the world what would it be?



winstonli 6 / 15  
Aug 9, 2010   #1
Look around. Imagine! You have the opportunity to eliminate one thing from existence. What is it? Tell us how the absence of this thing would change the world and why you made the choice you did.

I'm not an idealist. Looking around, I see the world is way too screwed for any potential idealism to take shape. Of course, who doesn't want to get rid of fear, death, disease, etc? But in the end the sadistic realist always wins. I am not a sadist, but I do like to have all my marbles at the end of the day as a realist. Thus if I had my pick of eliminating one thing from the world, it would be gasoline.

It was call black gold when people actually made stable incomes from gasoline. Today, it's more like black mold. It spoils our society, which has come to overly depend on it. It infects countries with greed as it pits one nation against another in prolonged conflicts over the resource. Its place in the world today is, unfortunately, monumental. And for the love of God, Americans cannot stop siphoning up this disgusting slime to power their precious cars. Therefore as demand increases, the supply must follow suit. Combine that concept with corporate idiocy; you get the perfect recipe for a BP oil spill.

Oil is hard to clean up. Even in our driveways, oil stains are not welcomed. Mother Nature sure doesn't want it in her oceans either. Due to some corporate idiot at BP, a simple methane valve malfunction was overlooked for four years. Hmmmm, if BP would have patched up the problem then, it wouldn't have to try to wrestle with its explosion now. Now BP has to face millions of dollars of reparations and cleanup costs that are probably a lot more expensive than replacing a valve.

We see what gasoline and petroleum does to the world; even the EPA does. So what does the might USA decide to do? Steal more oil from the Middle East and make itself look stupid to fuel its 62 million registered vehicles. Good job White House. For all that money we use to put gas in tanks, bombers, HUMVEEs, alternative resource agencies could have relieved us from the bondage of oil.

Being part of a generation that will foster a future one, I would hate to leave my children a world dominated by the slimy grasp of gasoline. It's bad for everyone; no exceptions.

freezard7734 17 / 144  
Aug 10, 2010   #2
First, the technical stuff:

ItGasoline was called black gold when people actually made stable incomes from gasolineit .

cipe for a BP oil spill.

Not everyone knows what BP is, so spell it out the first time.

Now the Real Deal:
I would say you would be great at rhetoric. But I also have to say that this essay is sometimes a little vulgar. Remember, college admins are going to read your essay, so you don't want to use "God" in vain and freely vituperate the US government and corporate businesses, and you especially don't want to give a first impression of a vituperating maniac. :) Tone it down a bit. Otherwise, I applaud your rhetoric. Oh, one thing though - when you list out the reasons why gasoline is bad, be sure to give specific examples to support your reasons.
RISDAdmissions - / 1  
Aug 10, 2010   #3
Hello, I work in the RISD Admissions Office. This fall our essay options for the 2nd essay have changed, and don't include the eliminate one thing option.

The new options are:
1.) Every day we're confronted by circumstances that range from the worrisome to the inspiring. What do you find most compelling in the world right now? How might this impact our future? What influence can you have on the situation.

2.) A short piece of fiction in the form of a story, essay, poem, or other appropriate genre
3.) Is there something you love, have to do, can't stop thinking about? Write about a personal passion or obsession other than visual art or design.

You could probably still use that essay for the first option with a little tweaking.
I don't think you have to worry about the use of the word "God" in the essay. The RISD admissions committee is made up of artists, designers, and scholars. Many great artists have used the medium as a form of protest, and when used appropriately, dissidence can be very powerful.

My only other word of advice is to talk a bit about how to fix the world's dependence on oil. You talk about how bad oil is, but not any viable solutions. RISD programs focus on creative problem solving and critical thinking. Show us how you might creatively solve this problem.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 11, 2010   #4
too screwed f

Ha ha, I appreciate this, but some readers will not like it! Ha ha... being screwed has sexual connotations that others might not appreciate. hahahahah... but I like your way of thinking...

I think you have to take out the mention of sadism. It's not helpful. You might mean... um... you might mean something like "magnanimous."

Wow, gasoline!! Good idea!

disgusting slime to power their precious cars. --- very good, very good. Is there a word limit, or can you make this longer? Make that conclusion paragraph longer!! Revise that intro so that you do not go on and on about realism, idealism, sadism... just get to the point and make this excellent argument. I am intrigued by the idea of no gasoline. :-)


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