'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay

Will someone please help me with my common app short essay (it's the one where you elaborate on your extracurriculars)? I'm having an extremely difficult time with it, especially since it's 1000 characters max. I don't know if this essay fully conveys who I am and how sand animation has improved me. Your help would be much appreciated!

I tell stories. Not in the conventional way, however. Not with spoken words or written sentences. No, I tell my stories through sand.
Sand animation has allowed me to experience the world through different perspectives. Each time I sit at my light board and begin to draw, I live vicariously through my characters. I've been a 1920's flapper whose greed eventually tears her apart at the seams, a 5-year-old Korean boy whose war torn country took away everything he ever had, and even a concierge clerk who's met people from all walks of the earth, but has never ventured further than her New York City apartment. As I transition from each scene to the next, my characters teach me how it feels to lose, desire, and have. They teach me how to take different perspectives from the same problem and find a solution from what I've learned. They teach me how to make bonds with individuals and how to connect with strangers. But most of all, they teach me how to create and use what they taught me to show to others.

Twilista!
I was really impressed by your common application extra curricular response
your use of sand to create scenes is incredibly creative, and totally original.
I don't think you need to claim who you are, because this piece does it for you. You may not think you answered the "how this improved you part," but i think you did,

you may want to focus on syntax and vary your sentences at the end, so as to not answer the prompt directly like that.
I hope this helps =/

This essay is phenomenal! It displays your passion, how it impacts you and how it has given you perspective, which colleges will love to see.

The fact that your response is so unique will also help your admission. Sand art is something that I've always wanted to learn after seeing a segment of it on YouTube; truly a beautiful form of art.

Your essay is well written; just make sure it's within the 1000 character limit! :)

No, I tell my stories with sand.

...and even a concierge clerk who's met people from all walks of the earthlife , but has never ventured further than her New York City apartment.

They teach me how to see different perspectives of the same problem and find a solution from what I've learned.

But most of all, they teach me how to create and use what they've taught me, to show to others.

Now I'm going directly to youtube to see what sand art is! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Have you ever seen the art of Kseniya Simonova from Ukraine's got Talent? You can find her on youtube, she's amazing.

thank you all so much for the feed back! and as a matter of fact, Kseniya Simonova is the reason why I got into sand animation. She's absolutely incredible and her stories always strike a chord. It's refreshing to see her perform!

this is a really creative and original essay. i don't think you will have to fix it at all.