Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


The shining suit made me feel like the smartest person on our planet - Engineering for philantropy



slalit 1 / -  
Nov 15, 2014   #1
I found many good editors here in the forum. I have got an essay assignment. As I am not a native English language it is common to have several mistakes. Please correct them. Thanks in advance.

"Sorry you both can't enter the ceremony hall. You have stain on your suit and even you are five minutes late. One of you may go and take the permission from father principal." said the guard.

When I set off for the graduation I believed that the shining suit I had put on for the first time was making me feel as the smartest person on this planet. Staring into the mirror for the long enough I was gaining an overwhelming confidence on my personality.

At the bus stand, I saw a person with a deceased leg futilely pleading for help. The reason for the ignorance was not the busy schedule of people; it was rather a social superstition that differentiated people as low caste and high caste. But no superstition could hide my empathy for him and a willingness to help. His sympathetic condition motivated me to approach his tricycle, so I said my friend, "I think we should help him." He resisted. "Do you want to be in the graduation day with the suit getting dirt and furthermore he is an untouchable", he said.

Untouchable! My mind started questioning the meaning of this word within the same species. His words could not assassinate the feeling of humanity inside me. As nearer I approached him the more intense the rays of hope was ____in his eyes. Shivering from cold, he said, "Can you fix my tricycle's chain? It has broken down." Truly speaking, I had never tried myself fixing the broken chain before. Although the chain was heavily greased, it didn't pull me to prevent fixing it. I gave a try to fix it just in the way I had seen a mechanic repairing my bicycle chains. Picking up a stone on the road, I started fixing it but all in vain. I could not fix it instead I accidently hit my own finger. However, I didn't give up. "Finally, after several fruitless tries, I got success in mending it. Still setting the chain in the tricycle was left which was extremely difficult with my injured fingers. I felt happy to see Rajesh joining me upon calling, who previously denied. Finally his tricycle was ready. Thanking me with the feeling of immense happiness he said, "I will never forget your help." Hesitatingly he also said, "But sorry to trouble you." I acted as if nothing had happened to my finger so that he would not feel bad. This was the just a small help I could do, but I feel like I have accomplished a work that was the matter for satisfaction In fact, the incident helped me realize the essence of philanthropy connected with the machines.

On reaching father's office, I explained the incident. As I couldn't be punctual it was fair to have feeling of guilty. After I finished explaining the incident to father, he consoled me saying, "No you have not done mistake. You have followed the ideology of our teachings. Suit doesn't make people smarter it's their action." Taking the permission slip I went to attend the graduation ceremony.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Nov 17, 2014   #2
Lalit, what prompt are you trying to answer? The story you are telling seems to have a point that is getting lost in translation. So if we knew what the topic you are trying to answer is, we can better edit the grammar problems of the essay. There are numerous grammar problems existing in its current form but I always believe in making sure that the essay is properly addressing the prompt before making any grammatical corrections. The reason being that the content and theme of the essay is still subject to change after we find out what the prompt is so it is best to save the major advice until after we know how the essay should look and discuss the topic. Please provide the prompt so that we can better tailor the advice to your requirements :-)


Home / Undergraduate / The shining suit made me feel like the smartest person on our planet - Engineering for philantropy
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳