Hey Guys,
I am new to this website, I was hoping you could read and comment on my essay. This is a slightly old version, so the grammer issues have been dealt with for the most part.
The Prompt is "talk about an event or time that has changed your life and your perspective"
Thanks!
Recently, I went on a club trip to a local middle school to give anti-drug/alcohol presentations. At the very end, we hand out paper so the kids can ask us questions or give comment about our presentations. Knowing that the papers would be read aloud, one little boy decided to approach us after class with his question. "My dad drives when he's drunk, even though he had his license taken away, what should I do?" We asked him if he could talk to his dad, maybe sit down with his parents and have a little intervention. After inquiring a little more, we found there was a background story. His father's license was revoked because he was caught under the influence and caught with possession of marijuana. This wasn't the first time and probably wouldn't be the last time. Also, when we asked him if he could speak to his mother or family member and try and get him help he got nervous. "Please, you guys can't tell him I told you, he gets really angry when I mention it." Overcome with shock of how serious the situation actually was, we brought him to our advisor. She took him aside and talked with him. After a while, she sent us home. At our next meeting, about a week later, she informed us that she had gotten him help. To honor the family, she didn't give us details, but promised the little boy was safe. That afternoon, my friend was complaining about how stupid her parents were; they had grounded her because her grades were, lets just say not great. I felt like yelling at her. "Did you know some kids don't even have parents who care if they go to school? Did you know some kids find school the best part of their day because your teachers and most of your peers care about you? Did you know that we are lucky to have parents who will teach us good lessons how to be a good person? Did you know that I didn't even realize that until now, that the little sixth grader who came up to me, is stronger then most adults including his parents?" I didn't yell at her because she didn't know any better. She didn't witness that little boy mustering all his courage to turn somebody who was suppose to love and take care of him, in to the police. Most people look up to actors, athletes, socialites and their parents; although there is nothing wrong with that, I prefer to look up to this boy who puts up with so much punishment for no crime. When I got home that day after school, I hugged my mom and my dad. Never again will the grass be greener on the other side.
I am new to this website, I was hoping you could read and comment on my essay. This is a slightly old version, so the grammer issues have been dealt with for the most part.
The Prompt is "talk about an event or time that has changed your life and your perspective"
Thanks!
Recently, I went on a club trip to a local middle school to give anti-drug/alcohol presentations. At the very end, we hand out paper so the kids can ask us questions or give comment about our presentations. Knowing that the papers would be read aloud, one little boy decided to approach us after class with his question. "My dad drives when he's drunk, even though he had his license taken away, what should I do?" We asked him if he could talk to his dad, maybe sit down with his parents and have a little intervention. After inquiring a little more, we found there was a background story. His father's license was revoked because he was caught under the influence and caught with possession of marijuana. This wasn't the first time and probably wouldn't be the last time. Also, when we asked him if he could speak to his mother or family member and try and get him help he got nervous. "Please, you guys can't tell him I told you, he gets really angry when I mention it." Overcome with shock of how serious the situation actually was, we brought him to our advisor. She took him aside and talked with him. After a while, she sent us home. At our next meeting, about a week later, she informed us that she had gotten him help. To honor the family, she didn't give us details, but promised the little boy was safe. That afternoon, my friend was complaining about how stupid her parents were; they had grounded her because her grades were, lets just say not great. I felt like yelling at her. "Did you know some kids don't even have parents who care if they go to school? Did you know some kids find school the best part of their day because your teachers and most of your peers care about you? Did you know that we are lucky to have parents who will teach us good lessons how to be a good person? Did you know that I didn't even realize that until now, that the little sixth grader who came up to me, is stronger then most adults including his parents?" I didn't yell at her because she didn't know any better. She didn't witness that little boy mustering all his courage to turn somebody who was suppose to love and take care of him, in to the police. Most people look up to actors, athletes, socialites and their parents; although there is nothing wrong with that, I prefer to look up to this boy who puts up with so much punishment for no crime. When I got home that day after school, I hugged my mom and my dad. Never again will the grass be greener on the other side.
