Hey everyone.
This is my personal statement for Common App. I am applying to NYU Steinhardt as music performance major. This is also for ED, so the deadline is coming up!!Thank you for helping me!!
______________________________________________________________________ ___________
When I think of someone who has had a significant influence on me, I immediately think of my violin teacher, Deday Shao. She is not only a teacher to me, but also someone I trust and admire.
I can still clearly remember when I first met Deday as an 8th grader. My mother had suggested I switch music teachers and I agreed. The next thing I knew, she's driving my brother and me to Judah and 46th to meet our new violin teacher. I was going to start with a month of lessons to see how I liked working with Deday. During that month, Deday not only encouraged me as a violin student, but also advised me on my academic future. Deday knew I wanted to apply to Lowell, but she also suggested that I apply to the School of the Arts. I remember staring at her as if she had just spoken Icelandic, language unknown to me. I was just an average violinist and was just finishing up the 7th Suzuki book. How could I ever expect to be accepted at SOTA? Deday reassured me that in two months, I would be able to audition there. True to her word she worked with me and my playing improved dramatically. I auditioned for SOTA and received an acceptance letter in less then a month. Although I choose to attend Lowell, the moment I received my SOTA acceptance letter, I promised myself to continue my music studies with Deday.
Under Deday's training, my high school years have been truly musical. As soon as I told her I was going to be attending Lowell, she told me, "You WILL be Lowell's concertmaster." At that particular moment, I didn't understand what she wanted from me. I once again however, choose to trust her. From April 2007 to September 2007, she worked with me once a week, for an hour on my vibrato, bow hold and just making sure I had a beautiful, clear cut sound. Once again, under her guidance, I worked
Diligently and became Lowell's intermediate orchestra concertmaster. I then set my sights on becoming the concertmaster in the advanced and symphonic orchestra.
After my freshmen year at Lowell, when I did become co-concertmaster in advanced orchestra, I played in the first violin section at All-City orchestra and passed the 8th level of ABRSM violin exam. As a result, I set my musical goals higher. With Deday's constant encouragement, I moved from the 9th Suzuki book to the Vieuxtemps violin concerto No. 4 and auditioned for San Francisco Youth Symphony. I was not accepted, but Deday was not disappointed in me. Instead, she suggested I try out for California Youth Symphony (CYS). I tried out and was accepted as a first violinist in the Associate Orchestra. Now that I am a senior at Lowell, I am the co-concertmaster of Lowell Symphonic orchestra, and a member of CYS. All of these achievements would not have been possible without Deday's help.
Deday has not only help me improve as a better musician, she also encouraged me to use my love for music and my abilities to perform at senior homes. She started me off slowly, first performing at a local church and then slowly performing at various senior homes. Deday saw that I enjoyed performing for senior citizens, so she encouraged me to start a volunteer club, more specifically, performing for senior citizens. With another student of Deday's, I started the club, Lowell Strings for Senior Citizens. Although the club was just founded this year, I truly enjoy performing for senior citizens. Seeing their faces when they hear beautiful music being performed by teenagers, make performing more then worthwhile. When I entered Lowell, I never imagine that I would be a founder of a club, but because of Deday I did something, I once thought impossible.
As my college auditions draw closer and closer, I cannot help but feel a little sad. Deday has been there for me for five years. While Deday teaches in a small dingy studio and not at the San Francisco Conservatory, she is the violin teacher who knows me best. I have truly enjoyed my years with her, happily giving up much of my free time during the week and on weekends to take extra lessons. She has always greeted me with a cheerful voice, even after she has taught a complete schedule. She has pushed me when I needed pushing and has infected me with her love for music. Deday has given me my life purpose.
______________________________________________________________________ ____________
Please give me suggestions on where to improve. And also, is my essay on topic??? I feel like I might be veering off from the prompt.
Thanks again!!!
This is my personal statement for Common App. I am applying to NYU Steinhardt as music performance major. This is also for ED, so the deadline is coming up!!Thank you for helping me!!
______________________________________________________________________ ___________
When I think of someone who has had a significant influence on me, I immediately think of my violin teacher, Deday Shao. She is not only a teacher to me, but also someone I trust and admire.
I can still clearly remember when I first met Deday as an 8th grader. My mother had suggested I switch music teachers and I agreed. The next thing I knew, she's driving my brother and me to Judah and 46th to meet our new violin teacher. I was going to start with a month of lessons to see how I liked working with Deday. During that month, Deday not only encouraged me as a violin student, but also advised me on my academic future. Deday knew I wanted to apply to Lowell, but she also suggested that I apply to the School of the Arts. I remember staring at her as if she had just spoken Icelandic, language unknown to me. I was just an average violinist and was just finishing up the 7th Suzuki book. How could I ever expect to be accepted at SOTA? Deday reassured me that in two months, I would be able to audition there. True to her word she worked with me and my playing improved dramatically. I auditioned for SOTA and received an acceptance letter in less then a month. Although I choose to attend Lowell, the moment I received my SOTA acceptance letter, I promised myself to continue my music studies with Deday.
Under Deday's training, my high school years have been truly musical. As soon as I told her I was going to be attending Lowell, she told me, "You WILL be Lowell's concertmaster." At that particular moment, I didn't understand what she wanted from me. I once again however, choose to trust her. From April 2007 to September 2007, she worked with me once a week, for an hour on my vibrato, bow hold and just making sure I had a beautiful, clear cut sound. Once again, under her guidance, I worked
Diligently and became Lowell's intermediate orchestra concertmaster. I then set my sights on becoming the concertmaster in the advanced and symphonic orchestra.
After my freshmen year at Lowell, when I did become co-concertmaster in advanced orchestra, I played in the first violin section at All-City orchestra and passed the 8th level of ABRSM violin exam. As a result, I set my musical goals higher. With Deday's constant encouragement, I moved from the 9th Suzuki book to the Vieuxtemps violin concerto No. 4 and auditioned for San Francisco Youth Symphony. I was not accepted, but Deday was not disappointed in me. Instead, she suggested I try out for California Youth Symphony (CYS). I tried out and was accepted as a first violinist in the Associate Orchestra. Now that I am a senior at Lowell, I am the co-concertmaster of Lowell Symphonic orchestra, and a member of CYS. All of these achievements would not have been possible without Deday's help.
Deday has not only help me improve as a better musician, she also encouraged me to use my love for music and my abilities to perform at senior homes. She started me off slowly, first performing at a local church and then slowly performing at various senior homes. Deday saw that I enjoyed performing for senior citizens, so she encouraged me to start a volunteer club, more specifically, performing for senior citizens. With another student of Deday's, I started the club, Lowell Strings for Senior Citizens. Although the club was just founded this year, I truly enjoy performing for senior citizens. Seeing their faces when they hear beautiful music being performed by teenagers, make performing more then worthwhile. When I entered Lowell, I never imagine that I would be a founder of a club, but because of Deday I did something, I once thought impossible.
As my college auditions draw closer and closer, I cannot help but feel a little sad. Deday has been there for me for five years. While Deday teaches in a small dingy studio and not at the San Francisco Conservatory, she is the violin teacher who knows me best. I have truly enjoyed my years with her, happily giving up much of my free time during the week and on weekends to take extra lessons. She has always greeted me with a cheerful voice, even after she has taught a complete schedule. She has pushed me when I needed pushing and has infected me with her love for music. Deday has given me my life purpose.
______________________________________________________________________ ____________
Please give me suggestions on where to improve. And also, is my essay on topic??? I feel like I might be veering off from the prompt.
Thanks again!!!
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