Stanford short answer Collabo(societal challenges, and EC activities)

PROMPT>Please share any comments, and suggestions. It would be greatly appreciated and thank you in advance!!

What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50 word limit.)

Constant division between the people; almost always there has to be or exist some sort of scapegoat. For example in American society, there subsides a fear from all things "different" which are often associated with negative meaning. There is little respect for others' cultures, religions, and even sexuality in retrospect. We live in constant fear of difference, although in large our society is progressing, and change is taking its natural course. (72)

PROMPT>Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 word limit.)

I do a lot of volunteer work for worldwide humanitarian organization, Ogaden Youth and Student Union (O.Y.S.U) in assisting the destitute Ethiopian refugees in Northern Frontier District of Kenya; I also played a critical role in networking the Ogaden community in North America, Europe, and Australia to help in the humanitarian crisis. The O.Y.S.U managed to raise enough funds to build a camp that also served as a clinic and a school for young victims of rape and violent crimes that fled the Ogaden region of Ethiopia, the Texas chapter managed to raise 3rd most funds globally under my term as event organizer in the OYSU chapter of North Texas. (110)

good work. you've done a lot of thing and i believe stanford will wecome your abilities.

stanford supplements: please offer useful commentary, and any suggestions would be appreciated!

>What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50 word limit.)

The immediate moment in time where; from the Lincoln memorial almost 300,000 participants gathered to witness the spectacular day in Civil Rights history when Martin Luther King Jr., delivered his world renowned "I have a Dream" speech on August 23,1963.This was the march on Washington. 45**

> How did you spend your last two summers? (50 word limit.)

I volunteered a lot for the worldwide humanitarian organization, Ogaden Youth and Student Union (O.Y.S.U) in assisting the destitute Ethiopian refugees in Northern Frontier District of Kenya; I also played a critical role in networking the Ogaden community in North America, Europe, and Australia to help with in humanitarian crisis. 50**

>What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50 word limit.)

In American society, there subsides a fear from things considered "different"; a term that's often associated with negative connotation. There is little respect for others' cultures, religions, and even sexuality in retrospect. We live fearing differences, although in large our society is progressing, and change is taking its natural course. 50**

> Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 word limit.)

I do a lot of volunteer work for the worldwide humanitarian organization known as, Ogaden Youth and Student Union (O.Y.S.U), in assisting the destitute Ethiopian refugees in Northern Frontier District of Kenya; I also played a critical role in networking the Ogaden community in North America, Europe, and Australia to help in the humanitarian crisis. The O.Y.S.U managed to raise enough funds to build a camp that also served as a clinic and a school for young victims of rape and violent crimes that fled the Ogaden region of Ethiopia, the Texas chapter managed to raise 3rd most funds globally under my term as event organizer in the OYSU chapter of North Texas. 113**

> What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, sporting events, etc.) this past year? (50 word limit.)

This past year, I was able to attend a spectacular event at the world famous Kimbell art museum. The event featured in, The Age of Picasso and Matisse: Modern Masters from the Art Institute of Chicago, a collaborative exhibition held controversial masterpieces, such as; The Old Guitarist on show. 49**

>Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (250 word limit.)

Being part of an international academics program, as a senior in high school it became obligatory for me to submit a 4000 word research essay. Given an 18 month time period on a self-selected topic in the subject (I chose) of Human Rights. Once again, I found myself in that familiar place in time and space with the same feeling of nerves traveling like electrical currents; as it slowly approached the time to submit my final draft of the paper. By now I was regularly keen with the content withheld in the pages.

I hit the submit button after 30 minutes of feeling numerous emotions fight throughout my body as I was suddenly unsure if I had written the absolute best adaptation of my knowledge onto the paper I've worked on for the last year and a half. While compromising a sudden feel of relief I gained confidence in my attempts to portray the evidence collected in my paper; as a chapter of my life was closing, and in this moment I travelled back in time and recounted my journey. Slowly beginning to connect the dots between the papers I wrote which regarded incidents of disregarding human rights in Israel to the Arab/Palestinian minorities; and human rights violations carried out internationally and the impacts left behind. By this point, I was back to my childhood in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia recalling an incident where I encountered for the first time ever a woman driving a car-nearly 10 years ago. 248**

> Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit.)

Dear future Roommate,
Here are some things about me that will hopefully guide you into enjoying my presence-
I'm a talker, yes indeed I can talk for hours on end about topics I feel strongly/passionate about. I enjoy reading historical fiction whenever I have downtime, because although I plan on pursuing a career in medicine, history is captivating.

I like to believe that all things happen for a reason and that everything will eventually workout in the best possible way, and that makes me an optimist. I'm optimistic about all that life has to offer. And, if you give yourself the time to get to know me, you'll see that I'm accepting of all people, that I'm sweet and hold silly beliefs about life such, as "smiling is charity". I'm very laid-back, and tend to come off as relaxed, because I believe in bigger things.

I'm a caring individual and I know what to do best in every situation; I'll stay up with you if you ever need someone when times get hard. If you need comfort I'll make you tea, and try my hardest to make you smile. I like to do good deeds, because it gives me personal satisfaction since I am able to do so. I don't seek appraisal, or reward for all the "good" deeds I do, because I believe in karma and I also like to remain virtuous.

-Sagal H.235**

Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists.

The Book Thief,To Kill a Mockingbird, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou, John Grisham, John Green, Film Noir, The 80 year old Kindergartner,John Q, Slave, Les Miserables, Mos Def, Bob Marley, Janelle Monae, Erykah Badu

What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy?

Time magazine,The Economist,Essence,Wired,USA Today,The New York Times,Dallas Morning News,CNN news,Pandora,Tumblr,rt., Aljazeera English,BBC news,

a list of books read , in the last 12 months?
1984 by George Orwell
The Collector by John Fowles
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Backlash: The Undeclared War against American Women by Susan Faludi
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Beloved by Toni Morrison

Are you international? You use a lot of punctuation that isn't needed at all and confuses the reader. Your erroneous use of commas and semi-colons is really distracting. I see you used thesaurus dot com way too much. Some of the "big" words you use don't fit into the context of what you're trying to express. I suggest you just be more straightforward and write the way you'd talk.

For the lists of books, writers, etc. you should sort them into different categories.

I have to agree with above. There definitely are way too much punctuation and it will more than likely overwhelm whoever is reading this.
-avoid using contractions in college essays
-you need to improve on the way you arrange certain words and sentences
-it sounds a little like you are trying too hard to get your point across


Definitely try just make your responses much clearer without worrying about what "might sound good" to the admissions team. Good luck!

I agree with Nabgyamfi, great job, just maybe try to cut down the first one to word limit. If you need to cut something out, you could try the second sentence, it's kind of repeated in the last sentence

thanks for the help guys, and i appreciate it but, i actually do speak like this. I never once used "thesaurus dot com" on any of these supplements.